♦Gurur Ve Önyargi♦

Chapter-5

CAN

Sometimes nightmares never leave us alone and sometimes it is a daydream that accomplishes the very job. When the former is haunting, the latter is quite enchanting. Yet, I must add, the enchanting one might blow your mind so much that you fancy the unexpected fantasies only to be tortured by the uncomfortable instincts which may claim to question your sanity: whether it is true or just another dream. Like what is happening to me right now, right here and right at this very moment.

Arriving at the venue, the Istanbul University, I get welcomed by a crowd of enthusiastic people. Emre stays beside me and together we are led to the beautifully decorated great hall. Everything was rather silent as I expected it to be but when we enter there occurs a sudden burst of claps from the audience side. Taking the stairs we climb the stage when the principal shook his hand just before directing us to take the respective seats.

My mood is fresh and free from any evil when they urge me to deliver a speech. With confidence, I rise and place myself before the mike. Lifting my eyes towards the jolly faces across the alter I address all of them warmly. Eventually, after the short yet informative introduction, I begin to cover the main speech that I prepared for this special occasion but as soon as my moving eyes register the familiarity in a particular profile, sitting just near the corner side row, I feel my voice becomes stifled for a fraction of second.

It is a moment when I sense the beats of my heart are thumping hard against my chest and my throat becomes dry as I notice her relaxed posture parched on the chair. The audience is waiting for my continuation but all I can do is sneaking glances at her. Noticing the incivility in my character I drag my impudent stare from her path while  my entire mind is ceaselessly questioning me, "What is she doing here?"

Though my brain has been well trained for years to keep on the job avoiding the circumstances around, for the first time in my life I get myself in such a worse situation where I am failing to sum up my fleeting mind as my head remains busy in calculating the disposition of the waitress! Wait. she is not that! At least not here.

Again I turn my head towards her way only to get impressed with the manner that square-shaped graduation hat is adorning her head and the robe that has coated her body elegantly. Black hat and black robe. As far as my eyes could reach I can only gather a wave of the black sea but it is only her manner that is captivating my soul and washing me with her waves as everything is very unusual in her approach. Unlike yesterevening, she is looking very timid and soothing for my strained eyes that are burning like nothing.

At last, I finish and the authority comes forward to perform other rituals. When I take my seat beside my brother who even does not stop surprising me with the sudden glee in his nature but I ignore it as I am too swamped with my own thoughts to spare any speculation over the source of his switching behaviour.

It is clear from her attire that she is one of the pupils but little did I have the capability to anticipate her rank. My nerves become petrified from head to toe when she responds by rising from her place as the HOD calls, "Students, please, put your hands together as we are going to congratulate the pride of our university Ms Sanem Aydin, the topper of the year!"

My eyes become wide in aghast as I am struggling to empty my chair when they hail me to prize her with the honour. While I feel mortified for the crumbling ego in my behaviour, with politeness in her demeanour she reaches me and again I could not help meditating on the purity of her complexion. I am thankful to those applauding and cheering folk for the burst of noise they erupt which veils the trembling tone in my voice when I congratulate her. She bows before me with utter modesty and I just inquire myself again and again, "Is she the same girl from yesternight?"