My Everything [Jenlisa FF]

Chapter 1

Me and my problems | Chapter 1

-

Do you know these people who are super self-confident? Well, I wish I was one of them.

I'm the complete opposite when it comes to self-confidence. For example, every thing makes me nervous.

If I have to pay for something in a shop, I count my money 100 times to make sure that it fits my purchase. Or if you have a group project at school, I'm always the one who ends up panicking because I have to find someone to work with.

Whenever I see people laughing, I think they're laughing at me, even though they probably aren't. What can I say? I'm a hopeless case.

Oh, and my trust issues? They are on another level! If I get a compliment or someone is super nice to me, I immediately think they don't mean it.

Sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with myself.

I would prefer to stay at home every day, sit in front of the tv and eat. But no, I'm at school almost every day.

First, I am being brought into the world without my permission and then I have to prepare myself for my future.

I stared at the ceiling while I was still in my bed.

Should I really go to school today?

Is it really that important? I mean what am I supposed to do there? I have no friends, no one to talk to and I'm always alone. So school or life in general is no fun.

-

My mother forced me to go to school.

So I'm here now. I stood in front of my locker and took out the books for the next lesson and then made my way to the classroom.

When I entered the room, I sat in the back corner as usual.

Everyone has a seat neighbor except me, I sit alone but I think that's ok because it's always been like that.

When the teacher came in, the class was already quiet and then we did our normal lessons.

I know I'm hopeless but it's getting worse. I know I'm bad at social activities but I'm also bad at school.

Actually, it's gotten a little better in the meantime, but it's still not enough.

The teacher recently said to me that he will organize someone who's going to study with me, but for me it's a big no-go.

As I know myself, I will embarrass myself in front of the person who tutors me. I'm definitely so stupid and bad that nobody would give me tutoring.

-

The last lesson was finally over and everyone packed up their things so they could go.

Of course I did the same, I won't stay here a minute longer.

„Jennie, could I talk to you for a minute?" When I heard my class teacher say that, I just wanted to scream.

But of course I won't do that...

„Ehm...no- I mean y-yes, yes of course!"

I grabbed my bag and made my way to the teacher. I looked at him briefly before looking back down.

Eye contact is so embarrassing.

„Jennie, I'm just going to get straight to the point. You're doing really bad at school right now."

I just nodded and kept listening.

„As discussed, I was looking for a person who could give you tutoring."

Oh hell no... please no.

"And I've found the perfect person for you."

I looked at the teacher and he was smiling.

At that moment, someone walked up to him and smiled at me as well.

"Lisa?" i said quietly and the teacher started talking. "Exactly, Lisa will do the tutoring."

I just nodded, even though I really didn't want to.

"Ok, then you can talk to each other about how you're going to do it."

The teacher packed his bag and left the room. I looked around and suddenly everyone was gone and the room was empty.

"So... are you free tomorrow? Tomorrow is Sunday so I'd have time to tutor you." Lisa asked and I just nodded.

"Uhm... then I'll just drop by tomorrow. The teacher has already given me your address." she said and smiled slightly.

„Ok." I said and rubbed my left arm with my right hand, hoping I could get out of this situation quickly.

„Okay tomorrow at 4 p.m.?" she asked and I just nodded again.

Slowly we both realized how awkward this situation is.

„Ok see you tomorrow." she said with an awkward smile and also left the room.

I sighed loudly when she left and put my hand on my chest. "That was definitely too much for me right now."