Wonder What She Thinks of Me

Chapter 1

Why you always say you ready for me? When you know you ain't ready for me? We ain't friends if we f*cking homie - "Nothing to Me" Snoh Aalegra

"Good morning Baba," T'Challa smiled. He pulled Zoe-Iman James into the large dining room behind him and held out her seat. "Good morning my son. Zoe-Iman," The king smiled at the young woman as the couple took a seat at the table. "Good morning your majesty and your majesty," Zoe-Iman smiled at both of the monarchs in turn," And princess," she grinned at the newly 16-year-old Shuri. "You can call me Zoe as well, I know that Zoe-Iman can be a lot."

"Non-sense," Queen Ramonda waved her statement away, "If your mother named you Zoe Iman, then that is what we will call you, at least for now," The woman smirked turning to her food. "I agree, I hope you slept well my dear," The king nodded and signaled for breakfast to be served. "I did. Thank you all for allowing me to visit Wakanda."

"Of course, I have not seen my son this anxious to come home for a visit in a long time, and now I know why," Queen Ramonda smiled. Zoe found her blood racing to fill her cheeks, until T'Challa Udaku opened his mouth, "Mama, we are just friends," The prince laughed a little too loudly. She shook it off and turned her attention to the food. She couldn't exactly be mad, he wasn't lying. They were, indeed, just friends. Apparently the benefits were just that, benefits. Zoe played around with the eggs on the plate before the conversation pulled her in again. "Well, then maybe you should have Zoe-Iman help you find some nice young woman. You know that it is coming to that time my son. You should settle in with one woman. Someone like Zoe-Iman." The North Carolina A&T alumna wanted to shout for the heavens, and melt into the floor. T'Challa opened his mouth to argue but T'Chaka interrupted him, "I am not saying marriage yet, but your image needs some stability."

"I still believe that I can have stability as a single person," The prince reached over and grabbed Zoe's hand in his own. He gave it a gentle squeeze, and she should have known he was about to break her heart. "But, what did you have in mind Baba?" Zoe fought to catch her smile before it could slide too far down her face. Zoe knew that T'Challa idolized his father. However, she wished that he would at least take more precaution with her feelings. It'd been months since they started sleeping together. Ten, almost eleven, months to be exact. The first time was purely an accident. They were both lonely, and a lot of alcohol was involved. Then, they woke up the next morning and did it again. Then again and again. The regret never came, and soon no alcohol was needed, their being together was enough to send the fire roaring. Zoe caught feelings months ago, and had hoped that T'Challa would catch them too.

His hand on hers was the only thing keeping her from asking to be excused and running far away from this conversation. She mentally let herself roam about the room as she continued to eat, hoping that her inner turmoil and sadness was not on full display. Unfortunately a mother always knows. Ramonda called on her and T'Challa once more, "Are you two sure there is absolutely nothing going on." The Aggie found herself looking at her friend hoping that he would have changed his mind, Zoe sighed, he was too stubborn for that. "No! We are sure. Right Zoe?" the prince replied. Her heart lodged in her throat the best she could offer was a nod and a "Yeah" that somehow croaked it's way past the organ blocking her airways.

As the emotional asphyxiation intensified, she felt as though the room was closing in. It was too much. Between the Queen's knowing stare, Shuri's pity, and King T'Chaka's kind worry, Zoe could not handle being next to T'Challa.

"Please excuse me," Zoe murmured. She removed her hand from T'Challa and let herself finally move far, far, away from that conversation.

"T'Challa," T'Chaka called his son who was staring after the young woman who'd fled the scene a few seconds ago. He knew there was something the young prince was not saying, and it was partly due to his own rhetoric in the past. T'Chaka knew that he harshly warned his son away from dating an outsider. In the past that had seemed like a good idea, but he never thought it would make his son choose between love and duty. The king could see why T'Challa had fallen for Zoe-Iman James. Ever since she met the royal family, she'd captured their hearts many times over, and the king knew she would be around for many years to come. Hopefully as his daughter-in-law. He had hoped that his comment earlier would spur his son to see the light, see the king's blessing to date the young woman. Alas T'Challa was as hard headed as T'Chaka was in his formative years. His son was about to make the same mistake the king had almost made in his earlier years, he just hoped he could stop the train before it went too far. The only reason he had allowed the outsider to visit was because he had met the young woman multiple times while his son was doing his undergraduate studies at North Carolina A&T. He trusted the young woman, and had hoped that this visit was to announce their intent to date at the very least. "I know that in the past I have urged you away from dating anyone outside of Wakanda. But I have been doing some thinking and if-"