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Freddie: Violence isn't the answer.
Sam: You're right.
Freddie: *sighs in relief*
Sam: Violence is the question.
Freddie: What?
Sam, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Freddie, running after them: NO-
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Sam: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Freddie: How can you still say that?
Sam: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.
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Freddie: We're having another moment, aren't we?
Sam: If by a moment, you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.
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Freddie: Things have actually been going really well with Sam. Our friendship is in a really good place.
Freddie: Last week I said, "Did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?" Instead of saying, "Shut up, Fredward," she said, "Okay."
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Sam: I am at a loss for words!
Freddie, telling Carly later: Despite being lost for words, Sam yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.
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Freddie: Do you miss the imagination of childhood?
Sam: I never had one.
Freddie: An imagination or a childhood?
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Freddie: Did Sam just tell me she loved me for the first time?
Carly: Yeah.
Freddie: And did I do finger guns back?
Carly: Yeah, you did.
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Sam: Rules were made to be broken!
Freddie: Yeah, well, bodies weren't!
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Sam: You're a lying, cheating, piece of shit! You're not the person I married!
Freddie: Fine then! We're getting a divorce! And I'm taking the kids!
Carly, pushing the monopoly board away from them: ...maybe we should stop playing...
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Freddie: Look, let's just agree to say "I'm sorry" on the count of three
Freddie: One, two, three
Freddie:
Sam:
Freddie: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.
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A/N: That was fun, should I do a part 2?
YOU ARE READING
Seddie Oneshots
FanficI am wayyyyy too lazy to do a complete story so I'm just gonna do a bunch of one shots.
