"Another day another flower. Are you ok? Another flower" - bouqet by Nathan jewell
Tuesday and I'm at work again nobody is here besides the other guards and while they are here I still feel alone and desperate for someone to acknowledge the fact that I exist. But does anyone notice I am here? It sure as hell doesn't feel like it.
Alone again to ponder in the storm I call my thoughts. As they rush around like a tornado taking down whatever they feel is in the way, including me. I count the days where I don't have to feel like this anymore, where I can go back to a place filled with love and happiness. Where I don't have to feel like I am burdening people the with annoyance of my voice or my presence. A place where the people I will surround myself with will genuinely care for me and be by my side at all cost.
There's no doubt in my mind that they talk about me. How new I am, how annoying I am,everything that I try not to be. Another hour more lap swimmers 5 people gone and I'm still alone. Throughout the day I feel different levels of loneliness despite not ever thinking that was possible but aye look where I'm at now. Sitting on the floor of the pool room because the chairs are to uncomfortable. As another family walks in. I sit still watching as people swim and as the other lifeguards chat their hearts away.
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PuisiCome through a day with me in my life. I promise you this book will make absolutely no sense to read and it will go all over the place but I'm getting my thoughts out so
