A Hallway of Leaves

One

Every person is always counting—the seconds, the minutes, the hours, the days, and then weeks, months and years. It is already in the nature of the human brain not to stop and be aware of how much time had passed already. It is like an instinct that the human brain instilled to do. It is already natural for a person to count the tick of the clock.

Currently, I've done so for nineteen years, three weeks and six days. And every day, if you're lucky enough, you get another day to count—another day to live life to the fullest.

I envy people who can live life to the fullest as if there's nothing to lose, as if everything is all right even if it isn't, as if tomorrow will never come. I always hope that I'll be able to feel such even for just a moment despite every single wrong thing that is happening with my life, and I know that I'll only be able to fulfill such dream if I don't need to worry about what will happen to me tomorrow.

After all, for people such as us, today could be the last.

"And I hope it won't be the last for you," the boy murmurs to the girl's ear, wiping down the tears that trickled down the girl's cheeks with his fingertips. "That you got to live another day after this."

I almost snort at how boring the scene is and how it lacks real emotions, and I stop myself right away when I remember that Airin had been crying already since the moment that the guy told the girl that he was willing to give up his principles for her. Even if I hate watching the cliché in movies, Airin insisted me to come along with her to watch the movie.

So, the story of the movie is the usual historic drama one where the guy and girl were torn apart by a civil war going on a fictional country. Like the Romeo-and-Juliet theme movie, they are from different sides of war—the boy was a soldier, and the girl was a rebel. Anyway, as the movie suggested, their love story evolved when the boy got hostage while in the middle of his military operation, and the girl was asked to do the guarding. Until it came to this that the girl secretly freed him, and the fact that the girl forced him to return to his life and all. And you might want to guess what happened after such encounter. Hell, this guy had fallen in love with his captor; seems like he was the one in distress. You may never thought when you would fall with the charms of the Stockholm syndrome after all even if you are a boy.

I didn't comment about anything then, and I let Airin cry softly. She encouraged me to come along with her even if I don't want to watch the movie. I hate the story, not the actors, except for one from them.

"Even if we run away, there's no place in the world that will accept us," the girl reply. Damn, I hate her character.

I didn't realize that I've already crossed my arms across my chest until Airin swats a hand at my shoulder, causing me to look at her, raising a curious brow. I didn't wait for her to say anything that I instantly tell her, "You look like a mess."

Well, she really does. Her makeup is already smudged because of tears, and her hair is clearly loose that her blonde curls tumble passed its bun. She stifles a cry, murmuring, "Why aren't you crying when it ended? Everyone seems to go along with me. And you..."

I roll my eyes, turning back to look at the mirror with a scowl, answering her then softly, "I don't get the reason why I should cry."

"Aren't you going to cry if you know that you are walking a line to death?" she inquires. She diverts her attention back to the mirror as well as she fixes her makeup, sparing me from answering her question. "You should feel sad on how M'fhíorghrá should be."

I eye her with a curious frown. "M'fhíorghrá?"

"Look! He is such a cutie," she chimes with a sweet smile despite the tears that completely ruined her once wonderful makeup. Though I'll admit that she is a beautiful and charming girl even without any, I consider that she is one of the many Irish women that have been influenced by American culture who never leave a house without having such. She continues on with her blabbering about being a fangirl, "You didn't even cry at that movie of his where he was hit by a car and lose all his memories about the girl. I sometimes wonder if you are still a human to at least spare a feeling."