New Years || Sebastian Stan x Reader

2014

trigger warning: violence

"Come on, you know you want to." He says and it's loud where he is already, his voice slightly muffled against the speaker as he talks.

"Maybe next year, Seb." You say, smiling. Already dressed but you'd changed your mind, letting doubts set in and make decisions for you.

"I'll come there, then. We can have pizza again." You think he's drunk, a slight slur to his words, but you still smile.

Remembering your stolen chances and almost everythings. Getting so far for them to be snatched away from you.

"Seb, go and have fun. I'll see you soon, anyway."

"But you're alone."

"I'm overdue a breakdown in the bathroom anyway, and this way no-one gets to see what I look like once I'm done. It works out. Go and have fun, Sebastian. Seb. You can tell me all about it tomorrow, deal?"

"Fine." He sighs, giving in to you. "I'll speak to you tomorrow, then." And he's disappointed, you can hear it in his voice. It doesn't squeak like it does when he's excited, it's gruff and dry.

"Bye."

"Bye."

It's nearly ten at night when there's fumbling outside. Drunken footsteps and muffled whispers as someone reaches the door.

Your stomach drops, it's not locked. Sebastian had called you as you carried in some groceries and you'd kicked it shut with your foot. Forgetting to draw the chain.

You get your phone out, thumbs frantically typing.

You
Please tell me that's you outside

Seb
It's not me
who's there?

It's enough for you to panic, getting to your feet as quietly as they would let you. Ears listening out for a voice, for the deep breaths you were used to hearing before he got mad. The shallow echoes that would ring in your ears as he got close, never touching you but the threat had always been enough.

Seb
??
u okay?

You head towards the bathroom, the tips of your toes cold even though the floor is carpet. Then it's tile, and you let yourself find the breath you'd lost in the fear of being heard. Almost gasping as you close the door behind you.

"Y/N?"

And he's loud even through walls. Used to hiding from his voice and holding in your breath again as if he'd hear it. And your lips trembling even though they're clamped between your teeth. And you concentrate on the pain of it, everything else becoming quiet and numb.

Until his words are closer. And you can't ignore them anymore. And you know it's only a matter of time until his hand reaches for the handle.

You can't control your breathing now, it quickens just like your heart. Your phone held so tightly in your hand that your knuckles are white.

You lock the door, looking at the screws and knowing they wouldn't last against the force of his foot. You put your foot against the wood, nothing else strong enough to help against his weight.

"Open the door, I know you're in there."

You don't say anything, mouth dry now as you let go of your lips. Your tongue feels big, swollen almost and you think you've forgotten how to breathe.