Help me Part One

Jeff and Mutt

I must have fallen asleep a little while after Mum arrived at hospital, because about three hours later, she was shaking me awake.

She had been crying again, that was obvious. My heart physically hurt for her and knowing I couldn't do anything to help made it so much worse.

"Hey." I groaned and rolled over. But I was already at the edge of the bed and I face planted the floor beneath me. "Ow."
"Y/n, are you OK?!" Mum panicked and rolled me over to look at me.
"Yeah I'm good." She smiled and shook her head a little.
"What the hell am I going to do with you?"
"Sell me to a circus. I'm sure I could give Crusty a run for his money."
"Crusty?"
"Yeah Crusty the clown. The Simpsons?" She shook her head clearly having no idea what I was talking about. "Never mind.".

Mum pulled me up and sat on the bed. I sat next to her and she put her head on my shoulder. (Quick
a/n I literally love that song ok back on with the book!) She wrapped an arm around my waist and smiled a little.

"You OK?" I asked after a while.
"I don't know." She replied, frowning.
"That's OK. You can talk to me though if you want to." I reassured her, squeezing her a little to make a point.

"Jeff and Mutt overdosed." She whispered.
Oh shit what do I even say to that? Her former best friends and bosses are in hospital with an overdose. I said nothing in case I said something wrong. I just held her close and listened to her cries.

"Have you been able to see them?" I finally asked. She nodded in response, unable to speak.
"Mutt's a lot worse than Jeff. He has a 27% survival rate. Jeff has a 81% and they think he'll be fine." She said quietly.
"I always thought Jeff was worse with substances."
"He is. He was. His body is used to this and can cope with large amounts. Mutt, not so much.". And then she was crying again. She had only just got over the fact Mum had died two years ago and now she would lose more of her little group.

And then the phone rang. God no please no. Mum answered and left me alone in my room. I had met Jeff and Mutt multiple times in the past and always got on with them. I found them hilarious. Mum always tells me I'm encouraging it but I don't think I am, I'm just joining in and having fun.

There was this one time I walked in on them judging people's hair. It was probably the funniest thing I had ever seen, considering the two of them had horrific bowl cuts. They suited them though even though they were awful. They were judging this one guy online, saying he was ugly and his hair was just not it. They asked for my opinion and when I looked at the screen, it was goddamn Jamie Dornan!! I was in hysterics and so were they, probably from the drugs or something but I didn't care because we were just so happy. Then Mum walked in and sent me back to her office, telling me I wasn't helping their behaviour.

Mum walked in then after I was done smiling at the memory. I looked up at her and she was as pale as a piece of paper. "He's gone." She whispered so quietly it was practically impossible to hear. No.

I held her all night on the purple sofa downstairs. We cried all night and fell asleep at about 2am. She had a bad dream a few hours later and I had to wake her up. She fell asleep again but I didn't. I kept myself awake to make sure she was OK. Just like she had done for me the night Mum died.

"I love you." I whispered to her, she was asleep still but when I said that, I swear her face softened a little.