Why I'm not allowed near the Teleportation Device

THIS. IS. CANADA.

Sebastian: *lands on deck of Potato's house*
Potato: *lands on Sebastian* WE'RE HERE BITCHES
Sebastian: Why me?
Potato: b/c u r mai waifu
Sebastian: okayyyy
Potato: :D marry me
Sebastian: Go marry Ronald
Potato: nO
Sebastian: FrUk
Mom: Why are you with some man
Potato: i can explain
-Meanwhile-
Sarah: mai name isn't weirdo.
Ronald: Cool
Sarah: bhsjakdnljSdbkhasfbeau
Grell: William~! I'm horny!
William: That's nice 
Grell: I'll wear those shorts that you like to see me in
William: okay let's go
Grell and William: *epic shinigami powers*
Ronald: I'm all alone now *cri*
Sarah: dun cri
Ronald: But I'm the only shinigami here now
Sarah: sucks to be you lol
Potato: *appears* yoooooo
Sarah: potato y u here
Potato: well, i started this story, i had an obsession with Sebastian but now i have an obsession with William
Sarah: William and Grell left to -LE CENSOR-
Potato: ~-~
Potato: also, me and sebby weren't doing the do, that scream was Mey-Rin because a Claude (spider) appeared 

Sarah: c00l

Potato: but senpai i serious.