The Hand of Crimson

Chapter 4: Dinner

The darkness of that night sky shrouded me in a cloak of nightmares, hiding me from the temptations of running back to Jennifer. I knew I couldn’t go back there. Not like this. I couldn’t hurt her like that.

My erratic footsteps were the only sound in that deep, dark night as I stumbled blearily away from her. I didn’t know where I was going. I don’t think I actually had a destination in mind. All I knew was I had to get away, so I ran in the opposite direction from her house. I put any thoughts about her out of my mind, knowing it would only fuel that desire to go back to her.

After a long while of stumbling around, I bumped into Roman. Literally. My vision was bleary and unfocused from hunger and tiredness. I couldn’t really see where I was going. I walked straight into him.

“Whoa there.” He looked down at me, frowning when he saw how I looked. “Are… Are you okay there?” He asked, his eyes growing wide as he noticed the blood that soaked my entire body. It took me a moment to process his words, but when my mind had worked enough to realize what he was asking, I nodded weakly.
“Roman? I didn’t… I didn’t know you made it out…” I whispered, my voice dry and emotionless. I couldn’t have cared less if he’d made it out really. He meant nothing to me.
“Yeah, I slipped out the window when I noticed the flames. I was the one who called the fire brigade.” I barely listened to his words, not processing anything I did hear.
“You’ve been with Jennifer, right?” I asked, ignoring the ringing in my ears and how the world was spinning. I didn’t care that it was a strange shift in topic. I needed to know. I didn’t know why. I just felt it was very important.
“I mean we never dated officially, I guess. But we have… done stuff.”
“Sex stuff?”
“I mean yeah. Why do you wanna know?”
“No reason.” I muttered, shaking my head, but in my chest, I felt a deep pang of pain and jealousy. It was strange because I’d never liked Roman like that, but it was definitely jealousy I was feeling. But I ignored it, taking his hand.
“What’re you doing?”
“Come with me. I’ve got something really cool to show you.”
“Um… okay then…” He muttered skeptically, but followed me into the woods at the side of the road.

When we were deep enough into the woods, I pushed him back against a tree. I let my hands explore his skin for a moment before I remembered that his soft skin had touched Jennifer’s bare flesh. My nails turned into knives as they stroked over his flesh. I didn’t know what was happening, but before I knew it, his screams of agony and terror rang out through that deep, dark night.

When I’d had my fill, I licked my lips and rested down next to him to sleep.

The rays of sunlight stroked over my body in the morning, waking me from my peaceful slumber. When my eyes flickered lazily open, I looked around at where I was, not understanding what was happening for a moment. When I saw Roman’s body, I let out a scream. I remembered what happened, the images running through my mind like a horror movie. God. I was sick. A sick fucking freak.

I stared down at my stained hands. It barely registered that they were my hands anymore. What the fuck was wrong with me? I had no idea, but I guessed it was something to do with what had happened last night on that rock. When I’d died. I still didn’t remember a lot of what happened. I remembered up till about when they tied me to the rock. But nothing else. I didn’t remember dying. I didn’t remember my thoughts about Jennifer. Nothing. The last thing I remember from then was being tied down and the next thing I remember was waking up with blood pouring down my body and stab wounds in my stomach.

I stood up, unable to look at the scene in front of me any longer. I stripped my clothes, not wanting to look at the blood stains on them any longer. My hands shook wildly as I threw them to the ground with contempt. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t admit to myself that I’d done this. That I’d killed. How was I supposed to live with myself after this? I had no idea.

I was about to flick a lighter and burn all of this to the ground and forget it, but I couldn’t do that. He deserved better than that. Begrudgingly, I heaved his torn and tattered carcass into my arms along with my clothes. I walked over to the nearby lake. It would be deserted. It always was. No one really came down here. I dug out a shallow grave with my bare hands and buried what remained of his body. I tried to be respectful about it, but it was hard to do that when I was still covered in his blood. But I tried. I even tried to pray for him. “Please guide Roman in the afterlife. Please treat him well. Please give him the death he deserves. Oh, dear Go-”I choked. My throat closed. I retched. My eyes opened and my hands broke apart as I frowned. What the fuck was happening? Why couldn’t I say that word? “Oh, my Gogh-” I gagged and choked again, unable to finish the word. My eyes widened as I realized what this meant. I was a Christian who couldn’t even say the word God. I buried my head in my hands for a moment as I gained my composure, trying not to think about how I’d betrayed my own religion.

After a long moment, I finished burying Roman before slipping into the lake to wash away the blood and to wash away my sins. I don’t think that worked, but even so, it made me feel better. For the first time that morning, I felt good. I didn’t feel scared or worried or horrified. I felt happy. I felt the new power and strength running through my muscles as I swam. It rushed through my veins like adrenaline. I felt like I was on some sort of high. I felt good for the first time that day. In fact, I felt better than I had in a long time.

When I got out the water, I let myself dry in the warm rays of the sun. Then, I set alight to my old clothes, putting my underwear back on. I couldn’t go around town naked. Once the fire had died down, I ran back  home as fast as I could. I didn’t have long till school started. My feet hit the pavement quicker than I thought possible. I wasn’t athletic and I’d never run this fast in my life, but I wasn’t out of breath. I didn’t know how far away from my house I was, but it seemed a bit strange when I managed to get there in just a few minutes. Carefully, I climbed the trellis against the wall and hauled myself up to my bedroom window. I jumped in and changed into some fresh clothes before running out the door to get to school.