The Outlived

Chapter 4

A mental disorder?
"What type?" I ask.

"I don't want to say..I needed my pills, they're in the bag, can you get them for me?" Nathaniel asks.

I nod, suddenly feeling bad for him. Someone as popular as him, seems so cool, has a mental disorder. No one is perfect, though. I grab the pills, and give him the prescribed amount, which is indeed 2 pills. I give him a bottle of water I was going to drink but didn't.

"Thanks, Neil. You know, Neil, you really made my day. You helped me out while I was unstable. I just- I'm sorry I did that." Nathaniel sighs.

"I'm not mad, I'm worried for you." I say honestly.

While sitting there, I started to think of the many possibilities a person can do when unstable. When they're stable, people are likes horses in the stable. But when they're unstable, they break loose and do the unthinkable.

"I can't believe I shared this with you, now, you'll tell the whole school. Fuck me, man" Nathaniel sighed.

Tell everyone? I barely have friends, everyone at school is fake...

"I won't tell.." I sympathetically smile at him.

Nathaniel smiles and hugs me. I hug him back. He then pulls away.

"You're the best, you know that?" Nathaniel chuckles.

I smile and say, "Well it isn't like I have the whole school in live with me. Plus, I'm not that type of person."

Nathaniel looks at me and then looks down. Like something is up...

"What is it?" I asked concerned.

"I told people about you having a journal... I tried to be cool, I'm sorry." Nathaniel states.

My eyes go wide and my mouth drops open.

He told everyone about my privacy. Basically, my only, true privacy to myself?! Now everyone knows my business and I'll get bullied more.

"A...Are you kidding? What did you tell them?!" I almost want to cry, let the salty tears flow down like a waterfall.

"I didn't tell them much! I only told them I went through it. Then, I told them how you draw sad things and some were pathetic. I'm sorry, I also told them that you hated your life.." Nathaniel's spoken words knocked my walls of privacy down.

"Why in the world would you knock down my walls of privacy?! I can't believe my only brick wall of privacy is gone because of you!!! I should just tell everyone you have some disorder, just like you humiliated me, right?! Mentally unstable people have walls of insanity, maybe I should knock them down!!!? How many times do I have to tell you: leave my business alone and to myself. You wouldn't like it if someone else humiliated you all your life on and on and didn't stop. Sure, I've stayed strong like fucking crazy glue to wood, but you keep doing it. You don't stop." I found me expressing myself excessively, now I'll look the insane one.

But who'll care? Not me. I'm already humiliated to the point where I want to move away.