kusuke saiki oneshots!!!

sum kusuke fluff

This story belongs to pinkshade on Ao3

Original name: kusuke fighting with the family cat

(This story dosn't belong to me, the rightful owner being pinkshade from Ao3, If you want the work taken down tell me and i'll take it down)
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Kusuke Saiki was tired. Bone tired. He’d worked many long, arduous shifts in his 19 years of life but it seemed a lifetime ago that he’d ever felt this drained.

He collapsed onto the couch, fully clothed, not bothering to put away his bag, change his shoes or…anything really. He just needed a few minutes to rest before he could move again.

Actually, now that he thought about it, no one was home. Kusuo was still at school and Mama and Papa were out on a “special date.” Papa had taken the day off and everything, so he had the house to himself for at least a little while.

A fifteen minute nap wouldn’t hurt anything.

Scratch that, make it twenty.

While he’s contemplating whether he should extend his nap to the half-hour mark, he faintly registers that the family cat has jumped up on the couch beside him, rubbing against his side for attention.

“Not now, Warp.”

“Mroowww.”

“Not. Now.” Kusuke pushes the robot onto the floor, and is unceremoniously rewarded with a dull metallic thud and an angry yowl.

“Oh please,” the man scoffed. “I know you don’t feel pain. I MADE you.”

He yowled again. Spinning in an angry little circle. As if HE, Kusuke Saiki could be deterred by something so…cute.

The little robot finally settled into an angry little ball on the floor. If he had fur, it would be standing on end.

“Hmp.” With a satisfied smirk, the blonde rolls over onto his back, feeling the drowsiness wash over him. Yes, this is just what the doctor ordered. His eyelids flutter closed, and just as he’s about to be whisked off to sweet, sweet dreamland -

*Thump*

A heavy weight presses down on his chest. A metal, cat-shaped weight that is far too heavy to be a real feline.

Air blows out his nose as he bites back his frustration. ‘Just ignore him Kusuke. You literally made him like this on purpose. You’re smarter than a stupid robot.’

“Mrooowww.” He can feel Warp’s ‘claws’ dig into his chest as the ‘cat’ stretches, spins around again, and plops down in the dead-center of his chest. A hazy yellow-green eye cracks open. “Comfortable?”

Warp doesn’t respond, pretending to be ‘asleep.’ Not that he really could sleep, just run out of battery and pretend to be sleeping, for “realism.” Little shit.

“Why did I program you this way?” The cat just sits there, rooted to his spot. Kusuke sighs in defeat. “Fine. Sit there. See if I care.” He attempts to roll over onto his side to jostle the robot off of him, but Warp simply repositions himself to lay on his hip. Ah yes, now he remembered why he programmed him like this, to be as insufferable as physically possible. It was all in an effort to mess with Papa, but everything came back around to bite him eventually.

Too bad his parents ended up loving the stupid cat. Otherwise it would be scrap metal by now. He glares at the fake mammal, internally hoping his disgust is somehow sensed by the feline. (He knew Warp couldn’t really sense animosity, his reactions were based on auditory and sensory triggers not anything based on intuition, but he still wanted him to FEEL it.)

He’s not about to lose to a cat.

Kusuke lifts a heavy arm off the couch, knowing full-well what Warp was and wasn’t programmed to respond to, and throws the cat off him in one swift motion.

Warp’s internal defense mechanism’s kick in before he can hit the wall, and he bounces off it like rubber, landing safely on his feet. Then he hisses. If his lack of fur wasn’t apparent before it certainly was now. Warp didn’t really feel emotions, but if he did, this one would be livid.

“Mrrrrrr…” The robot narrowed his artificial eyebrows, scrunching down low to the ground like he was actually planning to attack him. (Which he wouldn’t, as he wasn’t programmed for combat.)

“Don’t growl at me,” Kusuke snapped back. As if he could understand him, like a crazy person. ‘Look at me, talking to a fucking cat.’ If someone were to walk through the door it would be demoralizing enough for him to run back to England again and never come out of his lab. Ever. Probably. Perhaps he was being a bit dramatic, but still.

The white cat glowered at him, his metallic ‘fur’ nearly bristling.

“If you keep giving me attitude, I’ll reprogram you again. Maybe I’ll build a new you entirely and throw this model in the garbage.”

The robot’s posture changed immediately. He softened his ‘eyes,’ crouching down to look up at him pleadingly. “Mew?”

“Well you’re the one who misbehaved.”

Warp turned his head down, a shallow representation of regret.

Kusuke turned to the other side of the couch. ‘NOPE! Not falling for that trick. I INVENTED that trick. I’m the one who taught him to do it and I’m not about to – ’

Warp’s oversized head squeezed itself under his forearm, exposing the blonde to Warp’s begging face at maximum voltage.

He turned his head away.

It wasn’t very comfortable, but –

A paw patted at his arm.

His resolve was waning. The combination of exhaustion and his weakness for anything cute and cat-shaped working against him in tandem.

“Mow muurrup mew.”

‘I love you.’ A rough translation of Warp’s cat speech. Of course, Warp didn’t know the meaning of the word, it was a mechanic intended to get Papa worked up over nothing, and damn was it a powerful force to be reckoned with in his state of near-total exhaustion.

Kusuke squeezed the cat’s plush body, biting back his urge to squeal. Only children and idiots did that. “You’re lucky you’re cute. Or you’d be scrap metal you know.”

“Mow!”

“Mm hmm. You know what you did too.” He didn’t. But Kusuke knew. He couldn’t even beat himself. Pathetic.

“Ahhh, you’re so comfy Warp,” he mumbled to himself, half of his consciousness already embracing the darkness. “I wonder if that’s why Mama and Papa like you better than me.”

“Mow?”

“No, no. It’s not your fault. If I’d been a cuter kid…or a nicer kid… maybe…ah” he yawned, feeling the last threads of conscious thought fading into obscurity, “things would’ve been… different.”

Three hours later Kuniharu and Kurumi return home to a dark house.

“Why’s it so dark?”

“Big Ku? Are you home baby?”

Kuniharu stumbles in the darkness, taking out the coatrack near the front door while his loving wife finds the light-switch.

Upon seeing what awaits them in the living room they both gasp. Kusuke and Warp cuddled together, sleeping peacefully on the couch.

“Honey, get the camera"

!(^^)! I fell in love with this as soon as i read it

He's not portrayed as the incest craving psyco people paint him like... just kusuke fluff

Gah! I'm in love!!!