Keeping Quiet (Percy Jackson)

Chapter Eight

Mattheo Chavez

Because we live in the United States, we didn't have school that next day on Monday so Percy and I were at my place. Mom and Dad were out for the day doing whatever so it's just us here and it's been bothering me.

At first I thought I was imagining it. That it was just me.

But ever since this last unit in Thine's class Percy's been more on edge it seems. Especially in his class.

I was worried, so I was hoping that what I did at Easter would help, but he still didn't seem to be doing his best. Just, generally soeeking. He seemed tired even though he stayed over last night and we slept in this morning. It's 11:30.

"Hey," I said, earning his attention after he had seemed to zone out for a while, in his own world. Slightly hesitant just becagse when he's anxious he can become weird about being touched, I pulled him in closer to me. Not quite a hug, but something similar.

"Hey," he said in return, sounding a little puzzled.

"How are you feeling?" I asked because I've started to notice a pattern that I really don't like to see develop. A bad pattern. "I know you're always insistent on like just dealing with things, especially coming with to family functions, but... I want to know how you're feeling."

Percy might be one of the most selfless people, I know. Before he could put a second thought towards the question, I saw him fight the urge to just say fine or okay.

He's not stupid and he also knows that I'm not stupid. I wouldn't ask for no reason. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want an honest reason, also.

"I mean, a part of me is okay," he tried to elaborate to me. "Laying here with you and talking to your grandma and your parents treating me so nice and all of those things are okay. That make me feel nice but..."

For a moment, Percy paused. Looking like he had collect him, I pulled him closer again, allowing him to rest his head on my shoulder.

"I don't even know if it's frustration or being pissed off or just..." My boyfriend began as I could hear how upset he was start to bubble up in him. "And I want to talk about it but I can't because even if I tried I... Couldn't. I'd be stopped or like, it wouldn't come out or... And I can't..."

Percy returned the hold as I could hear desperation scraping away at his vocal chords. Could feel it in his fingertips as they dug into my skin.

"I want to be able to talk about it," he repeated. "I want to be able to tell you about all of these things that piss me off and make me upset and I can't and it just... Makes it worse and it frustrates me even more because it feels like I'm being unfair even though I have no say over it and— sometimes little things slip that shouldn't and sometimes they freak you and it makes me feel bad and I don't want you to feel guilty or anything about those because you can't change them and it's just... How it is and..."

What slipped out to freak me out?

His voice drifted out as I wracked my brain for a memory that happened much earlier in our relationship.

"Are you talking about when you said you were going to die by the time you were 25?"

"That... Was probably the most obvious one, yeah."

And I've vaguely asked before, but it's been a while so I was maybe hoping for a change in the answer.

"Can I ask why you can't tell me?" I questioned.

"I'll get in a shit load of trouble."

"Has trouble ever stopped you before?"

He paused for a second, definitely debating his next answer because sometimes it has, when it's something minor that really wouldn't be that worth it. But Percy was branded as a troublemaker and he eventually gave up on proving—