Being Southern-Rose.

Chapter two.

My ma had spent a million nights crying over my father, hoping that one day he'd come home and never leave, keeping his hands to himself and his part below faithful to her.

"Hay baby, what would you like for dinner? " she said in the softest tone.

"The fuck do you care, lady? All you want is cash for dinner so you can spend it at the pokies, while we having fucking noodles!" He scowled, with a look on his face that would most likely be in Ma's nightmare later that night.

"Fuck you Charlie! All I want is for us to be happy! Like normal fucking people!" her voice escalated, purely because she knew he was right.

"Don't you ever talk to me like that, ever again cunt!" I knew what would

come next.

With a hard thump, I scurried out the door, taking Haigy with me. Being only seven years old didn't stop Dad from hitting Ma in front of us. I took Haigy in the room and explained exactly what my dad would to me from day one.

"Shes a big girl babe, she'll be okay. Besides, she knows the only thing to do is keep quite." Because I was twelve, a bit older than her, she believed my every word. I cuddled her tight, like people do on movies, and squeezed my eyes shut, secretly hoping they'd never open again.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Cmon girls, get ready to go to visits. " We could hear the excitement oozing out of Ma's words. Not that she was allowed in the prison to visits, once you've been convicted of a crime, you are not to step foot in any jail for two years. But she did her best to include daddy in our lives.

I was too excited to sleep. I hadn't seen my daddy in a month. Ma hated us up at the courthouse, so I didn't see him at all during sentencing.

As we walked from the car to the actual prison, I was picturing things in my head, wondering if the jail was still the same..

It was.

Exactly how I remembered it. A few lockers on the wall, shortly down the hall was a vending machine, filled with yuck shit like caramellow chocolates and twisties. On another side was a small block of toilets, and at the front, a reception desk. All held together by cold, yet clean, orange bricks. This was Mangaroa.

I quite enjoyed going into the visiting block. There was some seats, along the windows, an outside area that was like a bird cage, double wired so that not even birds themselves could sneak in, and my favourite part, the toys. I had watched Ma put things from the supermarket up her top, so I would always sneak me something here and there in my previous visits, and wasn't about to stop today. I eyed up this bratz doll, scheming a plan to get it back to the car when my thoughts were interrupted.

"Yab" I heared a voice say, and instantly knew that was my daddy. He was the only one who called me that ugly name. "Daddy! Daddy! " not even bothering to stop

the tears pouring out of my eyes. I had almost forgot Haigy was there until she cuddled my tears away. Well tried.

I filled dad in with the latest gossip in the hood. Everyone was like close, so news got around like bees to honey, even to us 12 year olds. Halfway through my story, I saw daddy's face drop and knew instantly, what this ment. By his second reaction, he knew I knew too.

" It wont be forever Yab! Besides, Welfare said they'll provide petrol vouchers, and if your useless mother pushes, they might even lend a car" His voice filled with tears that would not come from his eyes because 'patchys don't cry'. "No Daddy! Remember last time? They are allshit! They have to pretend they care! They don't give two fucks.. "Hey!" he cut me off. "Don't speak like that Yab, it's ugly and you wont marry a rich white guy with that mouth" he continued. I didn't bother replying, it wouldn't change the fact this would be the last time I see his smile in God knows how long. We spent the rest of visits talking about my future. Haigy had fallen asleep in Dad's arms, and the room was getting empty, so I know it was just about time to go. "Inmate 459, times up" screamed one of the screws, as if my dad was in freaking China! Screws didn't care about the inmates names, family and shit. All they cared about was making the inmates life a living hell. I didn't want to let my daddy go. I wanted my daddy to shove me down his scummy orange jumpsuit so that I would never have to leave him. Instead, I just clung onto his neck, practically dying in my daddy's arms. My heart felt like it had been thrown on the ground, trampled on, then shoved up my fucking arse! Before I left, daddy told me. "Baby girl, love the life you live." With that, he turned his back on me. Never looking back.