Being Southern-Rose.

Chapter four.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks, months. Still no call. No letters, and definitely, no visits. Ma had gone a bit off the rails, blaming my dad being locked up for her constant drug use. Me and Haigy ended up staying with my Papa (grandfather) because Ma was never around. We grew so much closer for two reasons. One, Ma was Papa's babygirl. When she was being delivered, there were difficulties, and my Papa had to choose between saving Ma, or his wife. My nanny. Because they had already had five kids together, my Papa choose to focus saving my Nanny. Luckily, after hours of being patient, my Papa was greeted by a surgeon. "Hi there, Robbie. I am pleased to say we managed to keep your daughter and wife. They are both stable, and recovering well." Before the surgeon finished his sentence, my Papa kissed him, cuddled him. Thanking him with all he had. My papa raised my mum never saying no to her. He tried so hard to forgive himself by providing the world Ma because his guilt of knowing, he was prepared to let her die chewed on his heart. Every. Single. Minute. Of everyday! Ma often took advantage of this and I hated her for that. My Papa had been the only stable father figure I ever knew, and I hated people walking over his huge heart. The second reason, was the same year my Daddy left, my Nanny did aswell.. Except, she left for a much bigger place. A place we call, heaven. He needed us, and we, him. It was a Sunday morning so we knew what this meant. Haigy lay next to me, and my Papa next to her. It was a big four bedroom house, but all three of us managed to squeeze into the one bed.  

"Cmon Papa, let's get ready to go!" Haigy shouted, waking me aswell. I knew that was her intention. She loved Sundays, especially the mornings. 

"Alright babe, get up and ready, and thats us, we'll hit the road Jack". Papa tried to sound enthused, but I knew he was tired. Today was his only day off work and he really wanted a sleep in.  

Haigy skipped up and into the shower, I looked at my Papa who just lay there motionless, and said to him, "We don't have to go yano, we can just have Wheetbix for breakfast." He got up and pulled some old trackpants on, with a checkered button up longsleeve and fluffed about, in search for his jandals. I knew what this meant, we were going anyway. I sat in the front seat last time, so it was Haigy's turn today. We pulled up to the big yellow M and the smell of pancakes flooded our car. We pulled up to the speaker box and like any other Sunday, and the lady said, "Hi welcome to McDonalds place your order when your ready thank you"'. We ordered our normals. Papa always paid willingly, even when he ordered the least. We got our food and headed home. I popped my bacon and egg m'c muffin into the microwave and starting nibbling at my pancakes and hash brown. Haigy did the same, she seemed to copy everything I did. It was cute, but annoying aswell. As Papa read his paper with a ciggy hanging from his mouth, I heared footsteps then a knock at the door.  

"Sis, where you?" Called the deep, husky voice. It was my younger brother, Khatel. I didnt look like my siblings, I was fair, with coloured eyes, cute freckles splashed over my face and had the innocent look. My brother and sister were much tanned then me, both with my daddy's chingy eyes, baby face and had reasonably good bodies.  

"Sis heared from Charlie?" Khatel didn't really consider Charlie a father figure, because he was given away to my Uncle and Aunt at birth for a much stable upbringing, along with my older brother, who had a completely different dad, and lived out of town with another Aunt and Uncle.  

"Nope, and I ain't counting in it, fuck the useless prick!"  

As time went by, I had lost hope in my dad and started to build a hate up inside me towards him. I relied on my Papa a lot more but he always knew how to keep his baby girl happy.  

Khatel and I went for a walk, the only reason he comes over, is so we can sneak off for a slimy puff on a ciggarette. Other people do it, so I don't see the harm in us doing it too.

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" So yeah, this is Senyor.. " Ma's voice sounded nervous, like she was introducing me to the president or something. I didn't give two fucks, I mean, she's already introduced me to all her previous failed relationships.. What makes this guy diffrernt? 

' Hello, im Southern-Rose, souv for short. " I replied, trying to sound as if I cared. I think the skinny white man got the hint I didn't care and kissed my cheek, following Ma like she was about to run off or something. 

" Hello, im Haign, but I perfer Haigy, and this is my fifth birthday. " Haigy was much opposite to me, she couldn't hide the excitement spilling from her mouth. She had always had this weird fanatsy about Ma and Daddy settling down, and we being this happily little family. I once thought that too, til I realised I was just wasting space in my brain. I would never ever tell Haigy that though, it would be less painful if I ust poked out her eyes. Poor girl. 

My Papa didn't take much notice of the man who had introuded on our family time for Haigy's big day. Instead, he had better things to do, like prepare food and set up tables. I knew my nanny was on his mind though, she is 24/7, but today it would be hard for him. Spending this special day wihtout her. He let a sigh out just as the light flickered on and off, I ran over to him and caught him mummbling some words. I assumed he was talking to my nanny, because she does come to visit him quite a bit. My family have a strong belief in ghosts, and on numerous occasions, unexplainable things have happened in our home. No one ever thought it was freaky though, it made our home feel that little more warm, and comfy. Probobly because it would only be my nanny,  checking up on us. I remember Ma telling me that one day, we were coming up the driveway when I told her that I could see people playing Hide n Seek on our rooftops. My daddy looked at me like I was looney, but Ma just smiled. As she tucked me in that night, I asked her why she didn't dad got angry at me. She said not to worry, because she used to see them aswell at my age, and would be sure Haigy would too. 

" If you ever feel alone baby, remember, you have tipuna(ancestors) up in the sky. You can always call out to them if you are feeling sceared, and they will always protect you. " I didnt know if I should believe her, beacause the only thing I could smell while she was talking was alchohol dripping off her words, but I guess hse was right. It's a lovely feeling, knowing you are never alone. 

" Hurry up sister, you have to sing me happy birthday like you promised " Haigy snapped me out of my day dream, pulling at my top. 

"Yeah yeah, okay. But not just me, yeah? We will get everyone too!" I replied with a smile. 

I couldn't help but notice the skinny whie man that tagged along with Ma was setting tables, peeling potatoes, and sweeping the floor. What was this guy upto? Was he trying to get on everyone's good side? Or was he just used to family gatherings and all the effort they require? Whatever it was, I had a funny feeling about him.. Good or bad, I don't know, but, there is deffinately something there..