zhongchi angst

one

implied character death.
zhongli loses another lover

word count: 1k
[ongoing fic, might take long to update but i'll be sure to update it!!]

may/may not publish on ao3

'it'll be fine' zhongli thought to himself. 'u knew he'd have to go some time. normal people don't stay forever.'
but childe wasn't no normal person. he was one of the people zhongli would call 'rare gem' and a rare gem childe was indeed. one of the people zhongli had to experience leave him as well, as they always do.

zhongli ran a hand through his already messed up hair. he hasn't ever felt the same once he heard the devastating news about his lover, tartaglia; most known as childe or ajax.
the consultant had recalled a distant memory about the said person.
"you know, mister zhongli. childe isn't my real name." the ginger spoke, catching the brunette off-guard. he hummed "i assume tartaglia isn't your real name as well?" he replied. "of course not!" childe laughed, clutching his stomach.
after a moment of silence, the ginger's voice was heard again. "it's ajax. my name- ajax."

"oh dear ajax.. how much i long to hold you in my arms once again." zhongli spoke, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. it's been a while since he had cried. a decade maybe.

the consultant hasn't gone outside his private chambers in days and his boss, hu tao, has been worried sick about the man, having also visited him thrice a week.
the girl does know why zhongli had been acting like this, and chooses not to bother him any longer.

he stands up from his bed, stretching his arms out and opens his curtains. "it's been weeks now, i suppose i should stop acting like this for now."
once zhongli was done with the things he needed to do to get ready, he then set off to go to his workplace, the wangsheng funeral parlor.

"mr. zhongli!! you've finally came!!" hu tao beamed, smile much like the person he had called his lover. he brushed the thought away from his mind, replacing the neutral expression on his face with a subtle smile. "i have, indeed." he replied, taking the paperwork from hu tao's hands. "i apologize for the long break- you know what happened." his smile faltered a bit. "don't worry too much about it, zhongli! we all know how much it hurts to lose someone you love." the girl happily said, throwing a thumbs up to the consultant. "you're right. and thats mister zhongli to you." he scolded the younger.

the funeral parlor was mostly quiet, sometimes there'd be a few people asking for things to be set up etc, though it was just another normal day.

--

"waaah mr. zhongli! this is the place you work at? it looks so nice and it even smells good!" childe excitedly exclaimed, looking around. "did you expect it to be.. gloomy, childe?" the consultant let out a chuckle, seeing how childe was quick to deny the assumption. "no! i just thought it'd be a little spooky.. with you know.. how people rarely walk in and out of it?" the ginger sheepishly commented, earning a lighthearted laugh from zhongli.

--

the consultant immediately snapped out of his daze and quickly finished the paperworks, some having very bad handwriting, but you couldn't blame him; he hasn't been himself ever since.

he tsked to himself for remembering those times with his lover, though he knew he really couldn't stop.

the time flew by quickly, nightfall had came as zhongli had stopped by wanmin restaurant to have dinner. he could recall him and childe coming to eat at the restaurant, to where he tried to teach childe how to use chopsticks.
he chuckled to himself, thinking about how the snezhnayan still hasn't mastered how to use chopsticks until now.

he watched as the ginger who sat infront of him had been staring at the chopsticks placed on his bowl.
"is something the matter, childe?" zhongli asked, wondering if there had been something in the dish that childe didnt like.
"oh no, not really, mr. zhongli. i just don't know how to... you know, use chopsticks." childe grinned sheepishly, rubbing his nape. "of course you wouldn't." zhongli chuckled, moving towards the ginger. "let me help," the brunette took the chopsticks and placed them into the harbringer's.

gloved hands touched gloved hands, the consultant had taught childe how to hold the chopsticks properly and how to grab food with it, sitting back down on his seat again.
'the harbringer's skill didn't reach using chopsticks, adorable.' zhongli thought to himself as he watched childe try to eat with the said utensils.

the ginger could grab pieces of meat, just a bit shakily though.
once childe realizes he had been watched closely by zhongli, his face turned red.
"are you alright? did you eat something spicy?" the consultant asked worriedly, seeing as the latter's face had turned a bright red color. zhongli didn't recall the meat being spicy though.
"no worries, mr. zhongli! i'm alright!!" the harbringer tried laughing it off, showing his signature smile.

the brunette walked home, stopping by a few shops to look at a few vases and other items that had caught his attention.
one pendant was one of the items that had his interest, the pendant shone a pretty azure blue color, reminding him of childe's blue ocean-like eyes that he had always lost himself in.

"would you like to purchase these, sir?" the merchant approached zhongli, seeing how the consultant had been staring at the pendant. zhongli, a bit taken aback, had replied. "ah, yes. i would love to." he had taken out his pouch, finally having remembered to bring his mora. "that would be 720 mora, thank you sir." the merchant smiled once having received the said payment.

he had said his thanks as well, taking the pendant and finally reaching his abode. he held the blue pendant to his chest, clutching it ever so tightly.

"haha.. i can never really seem to escape you can i?" zhongli smiled to himself, staring at the pendant.