50 Shades Of Fischbach (XXX)

Chapter 13

"What are you smiling about?" Jessy asked me.
I found her and Emily in the living room, sprawled out on our Persian rug, watching VH1.
"Nothing." I lied and sat in between them. I had gone to find the girls while Mark used the bathroom.
"Then why is there a huge grin plastered on your face?"
"Yeah, you're kinda glowing." Emily said, staring at me.
"You guys, I'm just happy my best friends are talking again." I put my arms around their shoulders.
"God, it was only like a day, Sam." Jessy rolled her eyes and Emily just kept staring at me.
"That's not it." She announced, "I know that look."
Jessy stared at me judgmentally and then gasped, "You had sex."
I burst into laughter, "Oh my god."
"You had really good sex." She said, sitting on her legs.
I didn't say anything; I just grinned like a teenager.
"It was amazing!" I replied, throwing myself back onto the floor.
Jessy squealed, "I wanna know everything! I always wanna know everything!"
"Well-" I began.
"That's not it." Emily accused, crossing her arms.
My expression dropped to a confused look.
"No...that's it." I confessed again.
"Oh I know you had sex. That's obvious. But that's...not all."
Now Jessy was confused too, "What do you mean Em?"
She squinted her eyes and looked as if she was trying to figure me out.
"What." I said flatly.
Suddenly, her eyes began to grow in size, "You love him."
She said quietly.
"What?" Jessy and I replied.
She shook her head, "Like I said; I know that look."
"No way." Jessy said, "She's not crazy. It's been a week!"
"Right." I agreed.
Emily shrugged, "You don't have to be honest but it's obvious to me."
Jessy looked straight at me with pleading eyes, "You know he's going back home right? Like across the country?"
"Yes I know that. Why do I need a reminder?" I laughed nervously. "Stop making it into something it's not."
It was just sex...that's how Mark wanted it. I had no choice in it.
"Don't put ideas in her head, Emily." Jessy snarled.
Emily sighed, "The heart wants what the heart wants."
They both went silent, pretending they were dropping the subject, but I knew in their heads they were screaming.
I understood why they were acting this way. After Sully and I broke up I experienced the worst months of my life. I was with him from 17 years old to 23 and had given my time, money and virginity. I thought there would always be an us until he confessed to cheating during the last three months we were together. I want to say I was devastated but really it was worst than that. I felt like my life had ended.
I missed a lot of work and didn't talk to my friends.
I also gained 50 pounds and never left my house. Finally, months later, Jessy and Emily got me to see what I was doing to myself. How I was soon to be fired from my dream job and how my health was taking a beating. They even showed me Facebook pictures of Sully and his new girlfriend; happy and in love. I realized I was sad and depressed over him but he had already moved on. I got my life back together and never looked back.
Emily and Jessy were most likely afraid I would get hurt again and spiral back down.
"Guys, I'm not going go crazy." I told them. "The relationship is what it is. I don't love him."
They didn't respond and kept watching the TV screen. I guess they didn't know what to say. Or they didn't believe me. Why would they? I didn't believe myself.

"I want to go!" Mark exclaimed.
I was getting dress for the Smithsonian trip at his hotel and I'd just told him about it.
It was Friday and I had spent my entire week with Mark in his room. I hadn't seen my apartment in days. Every time I went to leave, Mark asked me to stay. My friends, of course, were having a fit and telling me all the bad things that could come of it. They were now on edge since Sunday's conversation at my Dad's. I kept assuring them that everything was ok and not to worry; I know they wanted me happy but they were frustrating. But I knew couldn't get mad at them; they were just being friends.
"You don't want to hang out with me and a bunch of 10 year olds." I told him, sliding on my shoes.
"I'd hang out with lice and a swarm of mosquitoes if we were going to the Smithsonian."
I laughed, "Well...I guess I could ask Mr. Stevens to put you down as a chaperone...You could come if you really want to."
He jumped out the bed and kissed me on the cheek, "I was coming whether you said yes or no." He said in a deep and funny voice then smacked my butt.
"Of course you were." I giggled.