Ina'lan'ehn Abelas

Chapter 4

Dhea - morning

Mamae - mother

Babae - father

Amelan - guardian

Sou'suin - quiet strength

***

Waking up was disorienting. She was warm. Why was she warm? Then she felt the strong arms around her; felt the gentle warm breath on her neck. How his body fit hers so well. It was comforting. It was warm. It was nice. So, she stayed until she felt him stir.

"Good morning, Abelas." I said quietly.

He tensed a moment the relaxed and answered, "My Lady."

"I think that you sleeping in my bed deserves some other form of recognition," I said. I turned around and looked thoughtfully at him. He still looked sleepy. His hair was mussed, and he had pillow tracks on his cheek. This was new. This was interesting. I gently traced his tattoo on his face and said, "My name is Dhea."

He was silent, his eyes wide. So many new expressions she was causing him. The Well laughed in her head, encouraging her behavior.

He finally seemed to collect himself and slowly sat up, and said, "Dhea... like your hair, light as the morning sunlight."

I almost smiled...almost. The Well was disappointed. "Or the time of the day my mamae had me. It was a joke my babae had and it stuck."

Abelas looked fascinated by my story. When I proved to speak no further, he said, "Abelas was not my first name. I gave myself this name after the fall of Arlathan. My first name was Amelan. I was born in the temples of Mythal and trained from birth to become her guardian. It was an honor. When she fell, I fell with her."

Oh, I had heard of the stories from The Well. They whispered about times lost, often regaling me with stories spanning thousands of years. All these years I had been alone, The Well was there, gently keeping me company.

I nodded and said, "The Well. They told me. But I appreciate you telling me as well. Thank you."

He looked surprised and The Well giggled, "The Well told you? You can understand?"

I tilted my head and said, "It was difficult, at first. There were so many voices. So many memories. It hurt, and it almost tore me apart. But... now they are gentle. They are kind. They fill me with knowledge of times long since passed and fill my lonely days with their presence."

He looked fascinated and said, "The Well was originally intended only for memories to be added, so our knowledge would not be lost. That it has become something more is... unheard of."

I hummed, and got out of bed as well, taking up my normal spot on the balcony, "I was often told I was impossible, yet here I am. Alive. Whole. No arm missing."

He looked confused, "Your arm was... gone?"

I nodded, "When... when he left, the anchor that was from his orb, refused to part from me... but it was also killing me. He took my arm, wrenching his power back. I was without an arm until the Veil was torn down. I went to sleep that night, with my friends and family, and awoke to chaos and dead bodies littering the castle he let me keep. I walked among the dead until he found me and took me here where he gave me a new arm."

I then looked down at my blemish free arm in disgust, "And so I have remained. A prisoner in this new world. A walking corpse he refuses to let die and be at peace with everyone else."

Abelas was silent. I did not even feel him get closer, until I felt his hand gently take my arm. It was my turn to look at him in surprise. He lifted my arm and ran his fingers up and down my soft skin, causing gooseflesh to erupt. He then brought my palm to his lips and kissed it softly, a caress.

I was stunned. When he finally looked into my eyes he said, "When I had first seen you, although you were a quickling, your soul shone brighter than any I had seen since the fall. You reminded me of my mistress, and in so doing I allowed you to take The Well. I believed, as I don't doubt many others have felt the same before me, that you would perish. Either from the threat of the corrupted shem, or through The Well killing you. When... when he had told me that you were still alive, but here in his castle, I was shocked. I had thought you perished with the rest." He slowly let my hand drop, and said, "But you did not. You exceeded my expectations. His expectations. I have only known you for a short time, for our time is now limitless, and I have already come to understand how rare someone like you is."

I could feel my eyes tear up and I said, "I just want peace. I want them back. I miss the laughter. I miss the smiles. Varric telling his crazy stories. Bull making lascivious comments. Krem's knitting. Sera's cookies. Dorian's fashion sense. Cassandra's bravery. Liliana's cunning. Josephine's heart. Cullen's shy smile. Cole's innocence. Vivienne's motherly advice. I miss them. They're gone and I'm stuck here. Without them. I went to sleep and then they were gone. Dead eyes and dead hearts. I wanted children. I wanted a family. I will never have that now. It was ripped from me just as surely as my soul was ripped when the Veil was torn. I am dead. I walk and breath, but my soul is gone, and I can't stand it anymore."

By now I was bawling. My heart was breaking all over again and this time I might not come back from it.

I felt strong arms encase me in my misery. I cried and cried until my breath was hoarse. When I had no more tears left, I stood silently in his arms. I slowly realized that he was singing. It was that song again. He was rocking me. When had we sat down? Over and over again. It was soothing.

When he felt me relax, he said, "I understand. For so long I have been Abelas. Sorrow. But... we can always choose something else. Another name."

We sat there together for a long time. The stars were high in the sky before I rasped out, "Sou'suin."