Cinque Anni [LUBERTO]

I. Here We Go Again

You'd never expect time to fly past you as fast as it does. You'd never think that the people you knew would evolve into strangers... It's probably the best curse one could ask for. When it seems like you lost someone you loved, you actually get to fall in love with them all over again.

The Italian countryside whirred past me as I sat pensively on the train back home. It isn't long of a trip, but it's long enough that I tend to overthink about every minuscule thing. Luckily, there's always someone to snap myself back into the real world.

"Luca!" I shake my head and look at a grown up Giulia blankly. Her hair is still curly and out of control, but at least she was able to take off that blue toboggan. She's prettier than she thinks she is.

"You're zoning out on me again. What's on your mind?"

"It's nothing. I'm just so nervous. How am I supposed to tell him?"

Giulia rested her hand on mine and smiled faintly. She thought I overestimated his reaction, so much so, that I psyched myself out of telling him, but the truth is, it isn't the easiest thing in the world to say to someone, especially someone like him. He'd been waiting for me for five years now. The summer is all we have had together, and then we're apart for the rest of the season. The letters, the phone calls, it was never enough for me. After this summer, I wouldn't know if things would ever be the same between us.

That's why I need Giulia. She's always been there for me when I start to magnify on the small things, and she's always encouraging me to be myself.

"Santa Mozzarella. Just tell him! It's that easy. The longer you keep this from him, the messier it gets."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. The coach we were in was mostly empty, so being silent was the least of our worries. "Ok, when do you suggest I tell him?" My frustration was apparent.

"As soon as you see him." Of course she'd say that. Giulia is anything but complacent. She likes to do things as soon as she can. "Ugh. You know that I can't do that." My hand balled up into a fist, clenching tightly a tattered envelope. "What if we can't survive this? This would ruin everything between us. What if...what if he never wants to see me again?"

Giulia stood up and sat next to me, holding me tightly in her arms. "Well, if he doesn't, he's one stupid boy. Of course, I already knew that he was Un Idiota, but he has a big heart that makes up for it. There's no way he would ever want to cut you out of his life, no matter what you do. Besides, you guys are probably gonna get married at this point."

I managed to squirm my way out of her grasp, elbowing her gently against her arm. "Not Funny Giulia." Despite saying this, she let out a healthy laugh, finding her arms once again holding me tight.

"Well, it's kinda funny. You know you love him, he's probably waiting for you to tell him that. Don't fret. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, after all."

"But is now the right time?"

"When is it ever the right time? If you keep waiting for it, you'll never do it."

I knew she was right, but what if now was the absolute worst time to tell him? A loud shriek of the train whistle interrupted our conversation, signaling our arrival. I got my belongings in order and took a deep breath. This may be the best or the worst summer of my life.

I knew he would be waiting for me at the station, like he always does. He'll probably be wearing his Bagnino uniform and his tattered hat given to him by Massimo. I think to myself that I won't crumble in front of him when he runs to me. I think to myself that I won't show how much I missed him.

Then the coach door opens. Portorosso, a town that never changes in beauty. I was the first out of me and Giulia to leave the train. I step onto the platform, the sun beating down on me, the glittering sea calling my name through the cool breeze. Massimo and my parents waited right at the platform, ready to greet me.

And then I see him, and I'm sent back to the past, when I left him for the first time. He's gotten taller...much taller. His hair was a curly mess tied back into a low ponytail. He has a new scar, just above his brow.

We lock eyes, his as green as Olivine. A mineral like Olivine derives from dark primary igneous rocks like basalt, usually found in oceanic crust. It goes through immense heat and pressure, until finally crystallizing into its new form.

I see those eyes, and everything I said I wouldn't do is brought into fruition.

"Alberto.....Alberto!"