That North Carolina Summer

Saying Goodbye

A day had passed since the fight, and things weren't getting better. At all. I'd made a plan yesterday to talk to Rylie and get this figured out, but I couldn't find her anywhere. I had no idea where she was during lessons yesterday, or where she was sleeping. Now, I was on the bus ready to leave for today's competition. Every time someone blonde started up the stairs, my heart would start racing. But it was never Rylie.

I hadn't seen her since she left me on the beach. I tried not to let that night replay in my mind for the hundredth time.

"Hey, Aspen! Where's Ry?" Jeremy asks, sliding into the seat next to me.

My throat tightens and I struggle to keep my voice steady. "I'm not sure..."

"Oh wait, she's riding the other bus today, I forgot. Something about helping out with the younger kids today." He says, thankfully not noticing my flustered response. Austin and Derek take the seat in front of us as the bus begins moving and I give them a small smile before sliding down and laying my head on the window.

I'd had so much time to think about what happened and yet, I still had no idea what to do. I missed Rylie so much it physically hurt. Her voice, her touch, the way her eyes crinkled in the corners when she smiled, the little dimple that would make an appearance with each smile, I missed it all.

I looked for her everywhere, and even though the others still saw and talked to her, I never once saw her. It's not like I could ask them, either. There was no way to explain what happened without them knowing just how close we are.

Just how close we were.

The hardest part was not knowing what I did wrong. If she had just let me talk to her, none of this would've happened. Right? I had been second guessing myself ever since. It felt a little too much like what things were like with Gabe, but I knew this was completely different.

Will I ever get the chance to make things right?

I'm drowning in my thoughts and quickly pull out my headphones, clicking into my Spotify. A fresh wave of emotion hits as the first song begins. In My Head by PRETTY YOUNG. But I don't skip it.

About halfway through the hour-long bus ride, Jeremy taps my shoulder. I slip out my earbud, turning to him. "Did you hear what this idiot did at the last competition?" He gestures to Derek. I shake my head, turning to see a red faced Derek peeking over the seat.

"What'd he do?"

Jeremy begins telling me the story of Derek and his almost girlfriend, and the rest of the bus ride flies by. The boys manage to keep my thoughts from Rylie thankfully, but as I step off the bus, they come flooding back.

I follow the other kids towards the canopies to get checked in, all the while keeping an eye out for Rylie. I keep hoping she'll find me first and tell me she's ready to talk, but she makes it very clear that she doesn't want to see me.

After setting my stuff down, I sit on my towel to wait for my turn to surf. My fingers reach up to grasp the tiny ferris wheel necklace, trying not to remember the pain connected to it. I'd put it on that night, needing to hold something Rylie had touched. Now, I didn't want to take it off.

One by one, my friends each take their turns surfing, and I people watch as I wait. It's hard not to notice the smiles and laughs the kids share with their friends or lovers. It's also hard to ignore the pang of jealousy I feel watching the couples. By the time it is my turn, I still haven't seen Rylie. I grab my board and walk to the water's edge, somehow managing to clear my mind while I wait for the other girls.

We begin paddling out, and I take note of how good the waves are today. The heat passes quickly, and I manage to score a seven and two eights. A smile sits on my face as I step from the water and see my scores. As I turn back towards the water, the smile slips from my lips as I see her. She has her back to me, but I know it's her.