our final night alive || simon kalivoda

part 2

i don't know when i stopped crying. or if i ever did. i was still on the ground when a knock at the stall door pushed me out of my trance.

"hello?" i said, trying to hide the break in my voice.

"are you okay?" the person said in a very familiar tone.

i slowly pushed off of the ground and walked to the door. i turned the lock and opened it.

"y/n?"

i suddenly realized who was standing in front of me. quickly, i slammed the door shut and locked it again.

"what the fuck, kalivoda?" i shouted

simon kalivoda. also known as the boy i've shamelessly been in love with since sixth grade. we used to be best friends, until i realized he was more than that to me, and i thought my feelings would ruin our relationship. i haven't really talked to him since.

"hey, hey, c'mon," he said.

"what are you doing in here?" i asked. "this is the girl's bathroom."

"i'm waiting for deena and kate," he answered. "what's wrong?" he was silent for a minute and then seemed to understand. "is it about heather?"

"god, simon, go away!"

"do you need a hug?"

i unlocked the stall door and stormed out, quickly flipping my fuck you finger in simon's direction before i left.

i went back to my car outside and sat for a few minutes before i started to cry again. but no tears came out. i had cried my eyes dry.

i wanted to sob.

i wanted to scream.

but i couldn't.

i couldn't even look at myself in the rear view mirror. i knew that all i'd see was red and puffy eyes and a person who let their best friend die.

"why is this happening to me?" i whispered, my voice starting to break. i didn't know who i was talking to, or if they would answer, but i said it again. "why is this happening to me!"

my skin suddenly dotted with goosebumps. a breeze had set in and the heat wasn't running. with a deep sigh, i got out of my car and went back inside the school building.

cheers and whoops erupted as i stepped inside. i looked down the hall to see a boy pulling a dummy with a knife lodged in its chest, clearly mocking heather. i slowly walked through the crowd. whispers and mutters broke the sudden silence as people saw me.

i didn't give anyone the satisfaction of noticing the joke. the joke about my goddamn dead best friend. people at this school are just fucking assholes.

i didn't pay much attention in my classes. i mostly zoned out, or stared at heathers empty seat. in history, one prick decided to use her spot as a footrest. i almost started crying again, but bit the inside of my cheek.

an announcement called everyone down to the gymnasium. students filed in, standing next to friends and talking over the principal. i, however, stood alone at the very back. i would've stood next to heather, seeing as she was my only friend, but another shittyside tragedy had to take her away.

"yo, y/n," i heard someone whisper. i looked up from staring at my feet to see simon. "come over here." he waved me over and smiled.

i pretended i didn't hear him and looked back at the principal.

he was saying some shit about heathers vigil. i knew he didn't give a fuck, and neither did the rest of the people at this school.

i was about to leave when he said, "all cheer, band, and sports attendance is mandatory."