our final night alive || simon kalivoda

part 8

i was sitting down in the hallway, biting my nails. josh said we needed to clean up and change in case we got any of sam's blood on us. i was sure i was okay, but any little thing would make me feel better about this whole ordeal.

simon came back a few minutes later with a box full of clothes. the front was labeled 'LOST AND FOUND'. he dropped it down in front of us and everyone went through it, looking for new clothes to wear.

"alright, we have to decontaminate," josh said. "you can't have any of sam's blood on you.

"well," sam sighed. "not much i can do about that." she started walking away and deena got up after her.

"deena," josh yelled to his sister. "you have to get clean, too! not a single drop, okay?"

simon got up and soon after kate and josh did as well. i was still looking through the clothes, trying to find something that would fit me.

"rub-a-dub-dub time!" simon whistled, walking into the men's restroom.

josh was about to follow him in, but kate stopped him.

"hey, wait," she said. "i don't wanna go in by myself."

kate went in and josh looked over at me frantically. i gave him two thumbs up.

"go get her, loverboy!" i whispered with a subtle wink.

he took a deep breath and followed kate into the women's bathroom. i looked between both rooms as i rumbled through the lost and found to find an outfit.

"third-wheel or confess?" i wondered aloud, laughing a little. "fuck, whatever."

i walked in the men's bathroom after simon, a pile of clean clothes in my arms. i went up to the sink next to him and set my new outfit down.

"what are you doing?" simon asked.

i looked over and watched as he casually took his shirt off and flung it in the corner. my breath caught in my throat. i coughed and looked back at the mirror.

"i wasn't going to third-wheel kate and josh," i quickly said, laughing a little. "besides, there's something i have to tell you."

i slowly started to take my shirt off, pausing halfway through. should i go in a stall? simon was already fully undressed, the only thing on him was his underwear. i shrugged off my thoughts and resumed.

tossing my shirt into the sink next to me, i heard simon's breath waver. i looked over to see him staring at me. well, not me. my arms.

"shit," i muttered, covering the semi-faded scratches.

"you wanna tell me what happened?" simon said.

i stared into his eyes, my own starting to tear up. simon wasn't like anybody else when they notice my scars. usually, people beg me to stop for them. why would i when i can't even stop for myself? i'm always on top of my mom for her addiction, but can never come to terms with mine. simon came up to me and gently grabbed my arm.

"you don't have to say anything, y/n," he told me, running his fingers over the wounded skin. "i just need to know that you'll be okay."

"i will," i whispered, tears catching in my open mouth, salt against my tongue. "i will—i will be okay." i realized as the words came out that i wasn't telling simon. i was telling myself.

"you're not alone," he told me. his eyes darted down to his own wrist. the wrist with his bracelets. "when we get out of here, we're going to heal. together. okay?"

i nodded and wiped my tears. simon went back over to his sink, and in an attempt at making me laugh, he flexed in the mirror and danced around. i smiled and unbuttoned my jeans, ready to put on my new clothes.

i've never been undressed in front of anyone before, so i hesitated taking off my pants.

i took a few seconds to stare at myself in the mirror, my eyes tracing up and down my body. fuck it. i started to confess. "shit, you know, simon, i—"

"i love you."

"what?" i swiftly turned to face him. he was closer to me now, closer than before, and i could faintly smell his cologne.

"i love you, y/n. and i have ever since like... fifth grade or something. i was going to tell you sooner and ask you to the sixth grade dance-" he paused and took a breath, softly smiling to himself in reminisce. "-but you just stopped talking to me. and i never knew why."

"why are you telling me this now?" i asked.

"i thought that if we might die tonight, i'd rather not leave anything unsaid. and the conversation we just had made me realize i might lose you sooner than i thought." he looked at my face, and suddenly his own was overcome with concern. "well, what were you gonna tell me?"

i smiled, leaning in closer to him. "you won't believe me if i told you," i whispered.

he looked into my eyes and then down at my lips. "then show me," he murmured, gingerly putting his hands on my waist.

he waited for me to nod, then slowly brought his hand up to my jaw, bringing my face closer. i closed my eyes and softly brushed my lips up against his.

time had stopped. there were no killers, no shadyside curse. just me and simon. in this moment, i had felt infinite. i was safe here, in his arms, skin against skin, heart against heart.

we pulled apart for a second to catch our breaths. i looked into his eyes. his deep, enthralling eyes. the eyes that reflected the stars in such a way it seemed like they held the galaxy. the eyes that stared back at me, so far in their own world that if i reached, they would hear my calling as a faint whisper.

"do you love me?" simon asked, brushing a strand of hair off of my face.

"i wouldn't be here if i didn't," i answered sarcastically.

"i know. i just want to hear you say it."

"you're pathetic," i joked. "but i love you."

simon let out a soft laugh and leaned back down to kiss me once more. his hand slowly traveled down my waist, sending shivers up my back.

"do you want to?" he whispered.

i nodded and set my hand on his. he kissed my forehead as he pulled me up to his chest.

"are you sure?"

"if you're right, and we die tonight," i told him. "i've never been more sure of anything."

simon gave me a smile before reaching to tug on my belt loops and pressed his lips against mine. we turned so i was against the sink, my exposed back finding the cold ceramic. my skin crawled with goosebumps, both from simon's touch and  the sudden chill.

he was very gentle with me, holding me by my back and waist and making sure i was okay every step.

this wasn't a moment where we had sex as two horny teenagers just to do it, but a deep connection between two souls strengthening as if it was the last we'll ever touch.