lost & found

reflection

Finally being alone, I can't help but reflect on what happened in the forrest before I passed out. Everything always seems to hurt a little more when you're alone.

I am completely alone now.

As I step into the shower in my new living quarters, the last time I saw my squad is playing through my head.

Alec, Maria, Hugo, Thomas, Bruno, Isabella..

How are you without me? Is my absence as painful as yours is to me? My real family. A vast ocean now divides us that I can't hope of crossing.

As the warm water runs down my bruised body, all that I think about is how my squad is faring. Are they all safe? Have they reached the shores of Invicta yet? They must have. Have they informed my father that I perished? Worst of all, my beloved little brother. Has he been told I am missing in action, presumed dead?

Too many thoughts, such little time to process. I can't help it but break down.

My legs collapse under me as I sit on the shower floor and cry. Not caring at the moment who hears. I can't seem to remember the last time I cried like this.

My crying eventually ceases as I just allow myself to sit under the rainfall of water for just another moment before I finish my shower and climb into bed. Sleep finds me almost instantly.

*

"Captain!" I look to my right to see Bruno flying next to me through the trees.

"There are too many! We need to get off this island! Hugo is already hurt!"

"I understand, where's Isabella? Was she able to temporarily stabilize Hugo's leg till we can reach the ship?"

"For now, but it's the pain. We can't go on like this much longer Aurora."

"WATCH BEHIND YOU!" I scream out to Bruno as a titan below reaches up.

He dodges just in time before slicing it's nape.

"Be careful Bruno! Pay attention to your surroundings! There is no mercy out here." I scold, but really I am just glad my whole squad is alive.

All of a sudden I hear a terrifying scream.

I stop in panic immediately, I hook to the side of a tree to re-evaluate where my squad members are.

I see Maria struggling to fend off two titans as Thomas and Alec are fighting their own.

"What are your orders Captain!! We are in trouble!" Bruno yells out with his arm under Hugo.

"Withdraw immediately! Full speed to the ship! NOW!"

Two more titans are running towards me about to lunge. I turn and slice both of their napes one after the other.

I wait for my squad to all pass in front of me before I proceed behind them. We are flying through the forrest full speed. I join Bruno at Hugo's side helping support his weight.

I hear another scream, I turn my head to see Thomas get grabbed from behind by a titan.

I let go of Hugo and fly over as fast as I possibly can and slice the titans hand, releasing Thomas. I see Thomas recover, but another titan charges. I slice their nape, but more keep coming. I am slicing and cutting every titans nape as fast as I can before one grabs me. I manage to slice its hand and slam onto a nearby branch before tumbling down through some trees onto another branch.

"Aurora!!!" I hear Isabella scream out.

The branch I am on becomes quickly surrounded. This is it.

"GO! THIS IS AN ORDER, DO NOT DISOBEY."

I slice another titans nape.

"ARE YOU CRAZY AURORA? THERES NO W-."

"GO ALREADY! SURVIVE! T-hat's my final order!" I falter at the last part. I never expected this would be my death.

Titans have surrounded my location. Now there's a wall of titans between my squad and I.

I take one last look at my squad, I see Thomas grab Maria by the waist dragging her away. I see Hugo clenching his teeth with tears. Alec has tears as well. I continuously slice every titans nape I can. This is the right choice. This gives my squad the best hope of reaching the ship in time. This is a Captain's duty.

I smack onto another tree again before trying to get as high as I can. I can feel my arms and legs about to give out. My vision seeing spots and blurry. My gas in my ODM gear gives out as I reach a thick branch. Before I collapse, I see the titans running in the opposite direction from where I am. My last thought before I pass out is my squad mates faces. All smiling. I see my little brother calling out to me.

The next thing I see is dark hair and dark blue eyes. His eyes remind me of the sea at night. How the moonlight produces just enough light to make out the deep blue of the water. The moon and stars sparkling on the dreamy blue. For some reason, this blue brings me peace. It feels like a dream. I can't help but wonder who those eyes belong to.

*knock knock*

I spring awake so fast, gasping and almost out of breath as I hear a knock. I was dreaming about what happened. And about someone?

"Aurora! Are you awake?"

I hear Hange's cheery voice through the door. I go to stand and am immediately greeted by the all over soreness of my muscles.

"Good morning Hange." I say opening the door.

"Slept well I hope! Captain Levi sent me to tell you he wants you out on the training field outside in one hour."

"Got it."

All of a sudden I got a little nervous. Captain Ackerman does not seem like the type of man to accept mistakes. To be honest I am still sore and exhausted from yesterday, but I have been in combat in worse shape before. This is my chance to show the Captain that I am not a Captain myself in name alone. In my home country, the Invicta military generals were not very forgiving. I have trained in fighting, swords and battle strategy for years.

"I brought you a uniform jacket and some new ODM gear. Feel free to get some breakfast in the dining hall before you go. I will be by to check on you later! Good luck Aurora, I'm sure you will impress Levi!" Hange exits with a smile.

I take my time getting ready, I change into the white uniform and look in the mirror. I can't help but wonder why white was the color choice? Our uniforms were black to prevent staining and for stealth. Looking at myself in this white uniform I can't help but feel sort of.. embarrassed? Probably just because I'm not use to it. I just also prefer black but I guess it can't be helped. I pull my hair back out of my face and put it in a high ponytail. My hair tends to be curly and unruly. This way it's not in my face. I strap all the ODM gear on, throw the tan uniform jacket on before heading out to the dining hall. There doesn't seem to be a lot of food options here, but I'm not very picky. I get some bread and porridge before heading out to the training field. I don't know what to expect of Captain Ackerman's squad but I'm sure they are elite soldiers.

Here's to my new beginning, I miss my country, my squad, my brother. But there are also some things I will not miss. I must continue on, make a new place for myself.