Idéatif (in english)

Short Story

You wake up afraid, heart beating so crazy, and you try to say, it's just a dream. But you feel inside yourself this strange sensation who said the opposite, who make a doubt. You need few minutes for to make a distinction, for hunting their images, this feeling. I am always here for you my love, in your head, ready to wake up their memories, our past moments.

Do you remember the day on our meet? Me yes! How forget this? You had this little flame inside your eyes, who convinced me to talk to you, who attract me without I know why. But I was so afraid to have to go speak with you, afraid of the reject. My heart beating was so crazy when I felt your perfume, when I saw you same far away. Felt your eyes on me, knew than you knew I was here, it was the only thing especially important for me during several months. I became so clumsy in your presence, you totally win my heart, every sense to me was waking up for you.

When I could, I watch you, same just for a second. I smiled like a teenager, sometimes without knowing that. When you appear in my dream, I was so happy, so exciting, so grateful; wake up was a truly painful. The only days I knew to see you was wonderful and could give me the strong for exit to my bed.

Sometimes, I had changed my way or my leave hour just for saw you. At this time, I was terrified by the idea to talk to you, by the eventuality to reject me. These moments stolen make me happy. I was watching you shyly with naively, but my feelings have grown up.

There was a man, this Vincent, who was every time with you and trying to hunt me. What was I supposed to do? Rarely, he had with you. I was sure you were to nice girl for rejecting him. I was thinking you never truly saw me. But one day, I had saw you watching me with insistence. You were trying to be secret, but I saw your beautiful eyes so intense on me. I was so happy. This day, I had finally decided to talk to you, to say what I felt, to say my feelings about you. I had understood my presence fascinated you too.

So long time to hope in pain, to believe you did not see me. Everything had happened so quickly. In few times, we were founded in my car, and after that in my house.

Days, weeks past. I had been a man so happy. My happiness was only hurt by the harassment from this Vincent, who would absolutely to see you. It was becoming so hard, that we must run for escaped him. All my efforts for our couple's life were not imprisoned by this running, all that was not won. Vincent was hunting us every day. I was so afraid he found us. I could not calm you are afraid. Every moment with you was hurt by the threats to fly with us.

After the second movement, all began to calm. Our running had won few moments. We had disappeared to Vincent's radar. Our couple life could begin again. Your fear, your angry, your pain became more sweety.

This wonderful day arrived. When I knew you were pregnant. Unhappiness, few days ago, I knew Vincent had found us. My grief became more intense. You who refused to would not give a baby in these conditions, you had won.

I do say, when you lose the baby, my mind it was loose too. I was so sad... Every time than your eyes was watching me, I had researched you, without to find you, without to find the little flame inside your eyes. My heart beating was not so crazy when I caress your skin. You had rejected me; you did not want our privacy. I would wish everything were perfect. I would wish to free you from this life, but I have been yet so loving you. I could not lose you; I was so afraid of the idea to find alone. You had rejected me every time and I had not the strong to fight.

I had started to exit more times, more often. You were staying captive at home. This wonderful sensation, so pure, so strong than who had me felt so important, so impressive has disappeared. With her, I had taken your soul, your body, your mind and now, I had loose that. I would to free of you, I would find again this feeling. But my efforts were not won. Nobody could kidnap my heart like you. I had trying to forget you in another body, with another woman, but you had stayed in my head every time, she was not you. She did know only satisfy my need basically. I was so disappointed, so I am going at home.

When I arrived, I was believing than could have the time for washing me and make disappear their proof red to my need basically. But you had surprised me in the living room. Of all the days, it was during this day than you find the strong to free you from the bedroom. When I saw your eyes on me, I knew that was over.

You maybe find me ridiculous, but I had so many hopes on you, on us. Hopeful to make better than with old trying. Same when had put the knife on my body, I did not know watch other thing than your eyes. I smiled. Because I saw finally this little flame so wonderful who had so attracted me, the flame who had to choose you and nobody else. I do not blame you; I love you.

When you saw me on the floor, you had taken the phone. Your tears it was so many. Myself was emptying my blood, but you were staying between me. I could not move, but I could hear you. Your tears were stopped, you were watching me until the door totally hurting.

Vincent was arrived so angry and ran on you. Your tears were here again while than he kidnapped you. The other man ran on me. I could not move, so I saw you disappear with him. One voice arrived with difficulties at me.

- I arrest you for kidnapping, sequestration, rape, and murder. You can be quiet...

My dear Olivia, despite the years I passed in prison, far away from you, you are in my mind. Thanks to your memory and my hope to see you again. My good comportment makes me free again, I am sure about that. I can see you soon.

No matter where you are, I will always come get you.

With all my love,

Ludovic

P.S.: Send after the death few days later.

Received and destroyed by detective Vincent Valvillier.