•Beautifully Stained•

Chapter 18

Eleanor aggressively rang the doorbell as she shuffled her feet. The sound of footsteps bothered her and she second-guessed her decision but she'd had enough. She was tired of pining, pitying herself and closing off- she wanted everything that started that summer to be over. 

"What are you doing here?" was the first question he asked as he opened the door. 

"Why are you avoiding me Harry?"

"Wha-what?" he was taken aback. "That's why you're here?" It was the first time they saw each other since that day. They did spot each other on the street the day before when she was returning from Zayn's funeral but he pretended like he didn't. That's when Eleanor knew he was giving her a cold shoulder.

"I know you saw me yesterday, and the day before through your window. Why did you ignore me?"

Harry looked at the ground. "I don't know what I you're talking about."

Eleanor rolled her eyes as she held his chin in her fingers and brought his head up. "You know. Stop pretending."

"Fine!" he took a step back, removing her hand from his chin. "I was avoiding you. But why do you care?"

"Because you're my friend-"

"I can't be your punching bag all the time Eleanor!"

Eleanor was silent, for the first time that day, she had nothing much to say, "you- I- what?"

"I didn't want to say it but you pushed me."

"I was going through a hard time, I needed somebody. I mean, I had my family but I thought-"

"You thought Harry is always available?" he snapped. "You thought that even if something goes slightly wrong and Louis isn't there for you, you always have your last resort- ME!" 

"Harry, you were there. You saw what happened," Eleanor could feel tears form. "It isn't about Louis-"

"Tell me, if you and Louis had gotten back together, would you still be here?" 

Harry's question left Eleanor in thoughts. He sighed at how silent she was. "See?"

"But he's someone I love and you're my friend, you two have different roles in my life-"

"And my spot is second best," he stopped her.

"No," Eleanor looked right into his eyes. "You matter to me. I'm in love with Louis but you, Harry, you are so special to me-"

"But I fucking love you Eleanor!" Harry had had enough now. "I told you my feelings don't matter and they didn't till I felt used. I came back to the hospital after having a word with the police," he stepped towards her, "I wanted to be there, hold you, comfort you. But when I went there, I saw someone else do that. I saw you wrapped in him. You were open and comfortable and you looked like you were finally letting it all out, whereas all the while you were with me, you just stayed still and pale like a statue. I knew you don't need me. You only do when you don't have him."

"Harry-"

"So before I do something that I shouldn't, or confuse you with my feelings anymore, please just leave thinking I'm a bad friend and an asshole. It'll be easy for both of us." Harry was done. He stepped back into his house and waited for her to leave.

"You're right. I used you. I'm sorry I did. But you've been a dick of a friend. So, we're even?"

"No," Harry hung his head down. He looked back up slowly, "being even will give us hope to forgive and be friends again, and I don't want that."