ἀγάπη

0 - midén

⚠️Tw; mention of underage sex

"Mix, I'm sorry" Mix's mother stroked his cheek while repeating those words. Her health deteriorated by day and Mix could only watch her without doing anything. These days she keeps apologising to Mix because she feels guilty. Mix wipes her body with lukewarm water because she cannot leave her bed anymore. The cancer is spreading and they cannot afford the health cost anymore. 

"Ma,, you should not get stressed, just rest" Mix kiss her forehead and picks the basin to go to the bathroom. His mother grabbed his arm to stop him from leaving. 

"You forgive me right?" The tears fell down from her eyes. Her eyes used to shine so bright but now it's faded. People always say Mix got his mother beautiful eyes. 

"You never need to apologise ma, you don't have any wrong to me, I make you porridge, rest first okay" Mix carried the basin and took it to the bathroom. He took a deep breath trying to stop the tears from falling. 

Mix was born in this neighbourhood, the home of prostitution. Is he supposed to get mad at his mother because of it? Sometimes he did, deep down inside his heart. Mix feels this life is not fair. He thinks his mother is selfish. Why give birth to a child  when you can't afford it. Mix sure his birth was unplanned, her mom doesn't even know who his father is. He did have a father, his mother's husband who likes to gambling and beat the shit out of them when he's drunk. Now the poor excuse of a husband runs away when his mother can't earn money and leaves them with a pile of debt. 

"You won't end up like me, I promise, you smart, you study hard and leave this neighbourhood okay" That's what his mom told him when he was young. When she used to be healthy and send Mix to school. But Mix is unlucky, his life didn't go as he planned. His mother got cancer when he was fifteen and from now and then their life is getting worse. He quit the school to take care of her, juggling several part time jobs here and there. Sometimes he wanted to run away and leave everything but Mix didn't have a heart. Her mother is a nice mom. She loves Mix with all her heart. 

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You won't end up like me. Mix snicker when he remembered her mom's words. Now he is in the bathroom scrubbing his body under this shower because he feels disgusted with that man's touch. Mix took his mother's customer to earn money. Those men don't give a shit about the fact that's his underage, as long as their lust is satisfied. What choices do Mix have? They need money for food, for his mother's medication, their debt and everything. 

Mix went to check on his mother after finished taking showers. Her mother is still not sleeping and looking at him with a sad expression.  

"Why don't you sleep yet, it's getting late" Mix fixes his mother's blanket and pillow around her.  

"Mix… I love you,," She said while holding Mix's hand that fixing her blanket. 

Mix gave his mother a smile and kiss on her cheek. "I know, and I love you too, now sleep" 

"I'm sorry you were born as my son.." 

 

Mix could only sigh.  "Maa.." 

"You never cry in front of me,, I know how.. ha..hard it is for you" She was coughing hard after that.

"Ma, just sleep please,," Mix handled her water but she refused it. 

"I'm sorry". 

"Yes mom, I forgive you" She won't stop unless Mix agrees with her.  "I sleep with you tonight" She smiles weakly while nodding her head. That's the last night Mix had a mother before she passed away the next morning. 

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"You need to leave this house, it's no longer yours. Mr. Chivaaree owns this building now." The guy said with a stern voice. Mix knew for a long time that his father sold this house but nobody ever bothered him. After his mother passed away a year ago, Mix lived in this house alone. He heard from the neighbourhood aunty's that a rich man bought this building so they need to vacate sooner or later. So now what? He is going to end up on the street.? Does he not suffer enough all this time? God, did Mix betrayed his country or something in his past life that God decided to punish him like this?

"Sir, he won't budge. Should we drag forcefully?" Mix heard the guy say to an old man wearing a suit coming their way. 

The guy eyeing Mix from top to bottom. Mix wanted nothing but feel the need to gauge his eyeballs. "I have a place for you, don't worry son, he threw a creepy smile at Mix"

Mr. Chivaaree brought him to a big mansion, where his life changed but Mix couldn't say it's for the better or worse. There's no much difference than living in his neighbourhood, Mix still spreading his legs for the money. But hey, at least here there's a lot of money. 

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"Why did Mix get the biggest room, it supposed to be mine?" Talya crosses her arm and rolls her eyes in annoyance at Mix. 

"Well because Mix brought a lot of money, our client like him, Mr. Chivaaree like him so…that's it. If you have any complain go straight to Mr. Chivaaree, hun" Mild replied at Talya. Talya stomps her feet and gets out of the room. 

"Just ignored her. She used to be boss's favourite but now you're taking her spot" Mild tapped Mix's shoulder and left him in this room. Mix look at this biggest room with an empty heart. This room is bigger than his  old house. Mix suddenly remembers her mom. He lay his body on the soft mattress but it didn't gave him comfort. It probably never will.