oneshots + short stories b.e

jealous (one)

THIS IS A HAPPY ONE 🙄🙄🙄 I HOPE YOU BITCHES ARE HAPPY           

 
         alex

i walked quickly through the hallway, a girl named bella trotting at my feet. i didn't like bella. i didn't mind her, but she also got on my nerves. i was supposed to show her something, but i've forgotten what. at the end of the hallway, i see a girl sitting back in a chair with a few other kids, looking bored out of her mind.

      i recognize her silver strands immediately, and a small smile finds its way onto my face. billie and i have been a thing for a few months, but we haven't made it official yet, honestly, just because i'm scared. she hints at it all the time, but i've been heartbroken one too many times betore, and i don't feel like getting hurt again (a/n: you guys when i post a new chapter 💀) when i reach the unlikely group, definitely assigned. i lean over her, allowing my hands to rest on her thighs under the table. "well this is sure a cute group." i say, making the other members of the group look straight up at me.

        ria, samuel, and jamie. two homophobes and a girl who has the iq of a bag of bricks. i snort. "mark has it out for you, bil." i say, referring to our teacher, and she laughs. "come downstairs, yeah? i'm sitting in the courtyard and i miss you." i say in her ear, planting a kiss on her neck. "yeah" she stutters out, and immediately stands up and follows, not bothering to take her stuff. as we neared the courtyard, i heard the boys yelling at each other.

        "no, listen! it's- the yogurt goes OVER the granola! i swear to god!" i hear leo shouting from our table, at james, who's leaning back in his chair, arms crossed indignantly. "bro, i don't know who fucking raised you, but the granola goes on top, UNDER the fruit."

    i laugh, grabbing billies and pulling her into my lap. "hey bil" leo takes a moment to pause from explaining his granola under the yogurt theory to greet at billie, who nods at him. "bozo one" she says before turning to james and nodding at him. "bozo two." they seem to not notice the names, or accept them, and continue to argue about the correct order of a parfait. i turn my attention to billie, who's already staring at me.

"hi there" i murmured, wrapping my arms around her waist. she pecks my lips before pulling out her phone and switching between instagram and snapchat before turning to me, eyes shining. "one of finneas' friends sister is having a party tonight, can we go?" i hate parties, but i don't hate billie. billie gets whatever she wants from me, and this is no exception. "of course. i'm capping your ass at two drinks though." she nods reluctantly, and then leans into the middle of the table.

"you guys are fucking idiots. what the fuck? have you never had a parfait? it's yogurt, fruit, granola on top so it doesn't get soggy, obviously." she says, seeming honestly invested in the conversation. they both roll their eyes, somehow only agreeing that billie is wrong. "alex, tell billie she's wrong." james says, and i hold my hands up. "hey, you heard the woman." leo sputters, seemingly genuinely upset. "i see where your loyalty lies." he says, narrowing his eyes. billie laughs, grabbing one of my hands that's set on her waist. "damn right."

that night, i pull up to billie's house, and she's sitting on her front steps, buzzing with excitement. so cute. "uber for billie?" i call out, and she dashes towards my car, opening the door and getting in before leaning in to kiss me bashfully. "you look cute" i say truthfully, and she smiles, looking down self consciously, grabbing the aux, and putting on amine as i place my hand on her thigh. as we neared the address billie told me, she turned towards me, obviously nervous.

"uh, my parents want to meet you. but like, it's- they're cool they just-"
i cut her off.
"i don't think that's a good idea."
she sighed gently. "i mean, you're gonna have to meet them someday."
fuck no. my head floods with thoughts of haley, and the way her parents made her stop seeing me. frustrated, i snapped at her.
"billie, i'm not meeting your parents. it's not like i'm your girlfriend or anything anyways."

     i watched her reel back, and she bit her lip as her eyes got glossy. i mentally yell at myself as she moves her leg so my hand falls from her thigh, before shaking my head and turning back to the road. we drive in silence for a few minutes before arriving, where she silently opens the door and gets out, walking into the house before i can apologize.

     i chase billie through moving bodies, losing sight of her eventually, deciding to just make myself busy and wait for her to be ready to go. i feel awful, but i didn't want to ask her to forgive me while she was drunk, i want her to make that choice in the right headspace.

       an hour later, i'm standing against the wall, watching billie sit on some girls lap, on her third red cup of the night. i can't even be mad, i'm the dumbass who just told her she's not my girlfriend. i wish she knew, knew how much i wanted that. i don't know how to say it, i don't know how to make it up to her, i don't know how to make her happy. i don't know how to love people. i'm not good in relationships, i'm never enough.

       i watch her laugh at the girl, blue lights reflecting on her face, and feel tears push at my eyes. somehow, the blue lights and her smile make her look even more delicate, more silver and breakable, like a fine chain necklace. i find myself considering that maybe, i could save her from my storm now, and i could drive her home tonight and then let her learn to be without me, maybe she could be with that girl she's sitting with.

        stronger than that though, is the burning feeling in the back of my throat, and the anger in my veins. the jealousy leaves a bitter taste in my throat, and even though i know it's my fault, i still wish she was sitting on my thigh, wish i could be rubbing her waist with one hand, watching her talk to all her friends. instead, i'm watching her become infatuated with another girl, and i'm fucking sick of it.

       deciding i need air, i push my way through the crowd and see billies eyes on me for a split second before i rush outside, sitting on the porch and bouncing my leg, hoping for a release of all the energy and anger and jealousy. i wish i wasn't fucking sober. it would make this so much easier, but i'm billies ride home, and no matter how mad i am at her right now, no way would i ever risk her getting in a car with someone who's drunk, or worse, driving her home knowing i'm drunk.

      the thought makes my head spin, and i let out a small scream of frustration, earning a small laugh from someone behind me.

    i know that laugh, and i spin around, and there she is. my billie. she sits next to me, still seemingly angry. "you seemed happy with that girl." i accidentally spat out, knowing i have no reason to be angry at her. "hm? you're not jealous are you?" she asks, teasingly, and my thoughts race as i push them aside and take the plunge. "i'm jealous." i brace myself for the inevitable 'i thought i wasn't your girlfriend', but to my surprise, it never comes.

      billie rests her head on my shoulder, and wraps an arm around my waist. "i know you're scared. i know about uh, haley. i'm sorry i flirted with that girl, i was angry. and i wanted to show you that i wasn't unconditional-" i cut her off, moving aside from her. "you get to be mad. i don't want you to forgive me while you're drunk, and regret it tomorrow." i say, and she laughs slightly. "baby, i'm completely sober." she says, tilting her cup towards me. it's water. fuck, this sure changes things.

an hour later, billie is laying on my chest in my bed as i stroke her hair. she's falling asleep, and i'm more than okay with that. "my girlfriend." i mumble, and feel her hum. "that's my new favorite word. especially when you're saying it."

a/n SORRY ITS RUSHED IM TAKING OFF