!!! Warning this chapter talks about suicide attempts ,R*pe, and self harm read at your own desecration if you have went threw any of this your not alone !!!
As I was walking I heard someone yell my name.
"Charlotte Charlotte turn around"!
It was Jared he had one his Adidas hoodie and some basketball shorts with a pair of white tennis shoesIt was very him.
"Oh hey Jared why are you walking don't you have a car".
"Yeah I got a flat tire yesterday when the track team and I went riding in the mountains, you should have came I miss you I miss how we used to be".
I sighed I know he missed me everyone missed me well the old me. I just dont know how I feel about getting the old me back. I should she was fun and happy but there was something telling me not to be her again maybe I just dont wanna be her again and I feel selfish for that.
"Im sorry Jared I just wasn't feeling up to it".
"I know Charlotte you never feel up to anything anymore". "The thing in seventh grade happened for ever ago don't you think you should move on".
It is hard to move on when it all I can think about. I have nightmares and flash backs but Jared doesn't understand because he has never had to go threw something like that. I try to move on and forget but its hard. I got better when I started taking my meds they stopped the nightmares but I still think about. In the seventh grade I tried to jump off a cliff Jared and I had found in third grade. I didn't want to live anymore with everything going on. My dads punishments my mom leaving getting a new family it was all so much. I felt like I couldn't breath it was like I kept drowning over and over again. I was dead inside just a beating heart and I was ready for it to stop beating. One morning I had snuck out of the house to take a walk I found my self at that cliff. All I could think about was jumping. I was about to but then Jared and his bother Nick found me. They were camping and had went on a hike. Nick had told my father and I got sent off to a mental hospital for almost a month. When I got back they put me on anti depressant and something for my anixty. I didn't really know and didnt really care. For two years its all I could think about untill freshmen year when I met him. My own personal devil. The person that would ruin my life forever. My ex boyfriend Zach(Thats him)
At first he was so good to me. He seemed like he really loved me. We would go on fun dates and would tell me how beautiful I was. He would get me cute gifts and spoil me. He got my flowers. I didn't focus on the seventh grade accident. I mean I knew it happened but it didn't control my life like it did. Zack made it go away. Then after six months everthing thing changed. He told me what to wear. I couldn't see my friends and he would flip his shit if he saw me talking to other guys. Like one time in history class I asked a boy for a pen and Zack broke his nose. He got so jealous so easily. He also kept trying to get me to have sex with him. I wanted to wait till I was eighteen. Any time we would kiss we would try and take it further. He would slide his hand up my thigh and try and stick his hands in my pants. I would have to push him away. It went on for a year until the summer of tenth grade. When he took it to far the night he raped me. It still haunts till this day. I still feel werid around guys. Even Jared and Adam when they hug me or get to close I get flash backs. I know they would never hurt me but I still get flash backs. One night I was with Zack at his apartment watching a movie. We were cuddling and started making out. He started to kiss my neck and sucking leaving hickys. He grabbed my my boob and started to rub his hand up my thigh.
" Zack you know im not ready for sex".
"Fucking hell Charlotte we been dating for a year and we haven't done anything".
" I know I want to be eighteen".
He rolled his eyes and said
" I will be right back im gonna get us something to drink".
I thought he would back off and leave it at that but oh boy was I wrong.
He bought back the water it was fizzy I didnt think much about it. I started to get dizzy.
" My head feels dizzy".
"You wanna go take a nap".
I nodded and flowed Zach into his room he layed me down and got ontop on me.
" What are you doing Zach". I could barley speak my words slured. I felt so week. He started to kiss my neck. I wanted to tell him to stop but I couldn't.
"Shhh baby we are just gonna have some fun".
I knew what was happening I had to stop this but I was so weak.
"N-no Zack p-p-please dont do this".
All the strength I had left I started hitting his cheast.
"STOP THAT". He yelled
He took my hands a pined them above my head. He took off my top and a grabbed my boobs.
"Your so beautiful Charlotte im gonna make you feel so good".
"F-fuck you Zack".
He didnt say anything I was trying to get away but I couldn't. He took off my pants and my panties. He then took off his pant. All I could do is cry
He pulled out a condom and sliped in on. He trusted into me hard over and over agin. All you could hear is his moans and my sobbing. He pulled out and came. He feel on top of me. I felt so scared lonley disgusted. Disgusted in him and myself for not trying to fight harder. He feel asleep I just layed there and cried. I got up found my clothes and ran I got a text
(Z for zack and C for Charlotte)
Z: You better not tell or you will regret it I will make your life hell
C: Im gonna call the police
Z: You better fucking not and who are they gonna believe anyways a straight a football player who has never done anything wrong or a batshit crazy girl who has been a meds about her whole life and has been to a mental hospital.
C: Fuck you I wont tell but this is over leave me alone and don't talk to me dont look at me
Z: whatever Charlotte you will come running back they all do.
Zack :BLOCKED
I blocked him I cant be around him I walked home and went to my bathroom and showerd trying to scrub the memories away. I walked out and went to bed I layed there and sobbed all I could think about was him touching me. I hated him he ruined my life. Thats why Apirl and I couldn't have sleep overs anymore I would wake up screaming I had nightmares every night. I have never been the same again. I promised my self to never trust a guy again to never be in a relationship again all it brings is pain and im so tired of pain. I never told anyone not even Jared I dont want everyone to look at me differently. Everyone thinks Zack and I ended things on a good note. One of the reasons I didn't want to go riding is because Zack would be there. Evertime I see him he stares at me and whispers the most God awful stuff to me. When he is with his new girlfriend he trys to make me jealous I just feel bad for her,because its untelling what he dose to her. They look like Barbie and Ken.(Thats her)
Her name was Melissa she was caption of the cheer team. She was your basic white girl. She was a real bitch. She would look at me with pure disgust. Everytime they would see me in the hall way they would start making out.
I almost started thinking about what Zack did to me, but then I remember I was with Jared.
" Are you ok Charlotte you look upset".
" Im sorry I shouldn't have said that what happened was a scary thing and I was being a jerk I guess I just miss my best friend".
"Your fine and im fine and your right next time something comes up I will try and go".
"YESS thats so good you know the big bonfire party is this weekend you should come every one is going".
" Yeah I will be there".
"Good im glad the old you is coming back".
Except the old me wasn't coming back I was putting on a mask. So questions wouldn't be asked and my friends wouldn't worry. We walked up to the school. " Well here we are prison". Jared said
" Yeah God im glad this this is our last year".
"Yeah well see you at lunch".
"Yeah"
He walked in I stood there a minute trying to collect my thoughts and prepare my self for today. I walked in
" Time for hell".Heyy guys this is the second chapter tell me what you guys think this chapter was hard for me to write it was very intense i hoped you guys liked it have a good morning or night where ever you are
YOU ARE READING
My Dark Angel
RomanceThis is about a girl named Charlotte who has really been threw some bad stuff in her life She meets about boy named Alex who has also been threw a lot. They will try to help each other and grow and try to escape there past but will they be able to b...