Yearn [NEW TITLE]

Chapter One: Enough

I have honestly had enough with this pack

I am sick of their constant picking on me and I am so sick of them always belittling me. 

"No Lea, you can't do that, let your much more capable cousin do it while you go and do the dishes or something" they'd say. Well it's close enough to what they'd actually say.

Today's my last day at school as well as my last day on the res before I hightail it out of here. 

"Oi girl, hurry up with breakfast you insolent pup" yelled Father from the dining table in the next room over, "your cousin's getting hungry and she needs to keep her strength up unlike you!" 

If you haven't already guessed, my family aren't my number one supporters. In fact, I know that they wish every day of their lives that they had given birth to a strong boy, someone who could take over the pack when Father decided to retire. Yep, that's right, not only am I the weakest and slowest in the pack, I am also the daughter of an Alpha. According to Mother, Father and practically the whole of the Saskia Pack, I am a disgrace to my family and the pack and because of me, Mother can no longer bear pups, meaning she cannot produce a male heir for my Father. So when my Aunty and Uncle died in a rogue attack when I was nine, Mother and Father eagerly took in my cousin Lincoln Saskia and raised him themselves, as their own.

Over the years they trained him, nourished him. Loved him. On the other hand they neglected me, their own daughter. Their own flesh and blood was cast aside like yesterdays trash. I became the "other one" and my cousin became their son. It was almost as if I was the sorry child that lost their parents and in a way, I had. 

I was like the girl version of Harry Potter. But, instead of living with my cousin and his parents, i'm living with my cousin and MY parents. It's gotten to the point where I am forbidden from calling them my mum or my dad, but Mother and Father instead. Also my cousin wasn't some fat, greedy kid that ate all the damn time, instead I got a ridiculously handsome cousin that doesn't deserve to be that handsome. Why couldn't he grow up to be an ugly boy that never grew out of the pimple phase? No. The stupid bigot was blessed with perfectly coiffed hair and olive skin with zero blemishes. He had well defined abs that the girls fawned over and the boys envied and you could bounce rocks off of his pecs - trust me, i've tried it - and not only is he annoyingly handsome, he's always annoyingly nice.  So helpful, so kind, so well-mannered, so ANNOYING. All in all, Mother and Father had their perfect son. 

And me? I don't mean to come off as cocky, but I am far from ugly. My mahogany hair fell down in loose waves which fell slightly in my eyes at times. My teeth were pearly white and my lips rosy pink, and whenever I smiled, you could see me crater sized dimples underneath my prominent cheek bones. Thin eyebrows shaped perfectly above my chocolate eyes that sparkled. I had a darker skin tone than my cousin did, but it still glowed all the same. If you haven't already guessed, my family was pretty hot. 

I could probably go on all day about how attractive my family and I were, but then i'd turn into Mother. 

However, despite how attractive I may seem to myself, I will never be good enough in this society. Because the reality is: no matter how attractive you are, if you're not strong or fast - you're nothing. I wasn't fast and I definitely wasn't strong, so I was nothing. 

Because Mother and Father had neglected to raise me properly, I grew up weak and malnourished. I wasn't properly trained to run faster and my muscles weren't trained to do heavy lifting or any lifting for that matter. I was thinner than the average She-wolf and that just didn't sit well with the Pack. 

"Lea, what in the hell is taking you so long? Don't make me come to you and beat you girl" Father broke me out of my reverie with his threatening tone that I knew only too well. 
"It's okay dad, i'll get it" I heard my cousin soothe Father. 

Dad.  

Sometimes I wish my cousin wasn't so nice, that way it would make it easier for me to hate him.

"The porridge just finished Father, i'll bring it out as soon as it's in a bowl" Stirring the pot of porridge one last time, I turned off the heat and removed it from the stove and onto a chopping board.  I disposed of the wooden spoon I had been using and replaced it with a ladle so I could scoop out the porridge. Opening the hanging cupboard above the dishwasher, I pulled out three bowls - one for everyone excluding myself. I then pulled out three glasses from the cupboard next to it. 

After I filled the bowls of porridge and the glasses of Apple Juice to the brim, I placed them onto a breakfast tray and took them out to the dining table where my "family" waited impatiently. I placed the tray onto the table and started handing out the bowls and cups to everyone seated. Upon recieving his bowl and cup, my cousin gave a slight nod of appreciation  which earned him a kick under the table from Mother. 

"Don't thank the help Lincoln" Mother scolded him, which caused hot angry tears brim my eyes and threaten to spill over. I would not let them though. I would not give these ungrateful people the satisfaction of seeing me break down. No. I'm stronger than that. I can feel it. 

"Sorry mum, it won't happen again" Lincoln softly whispered to Mother, his head bowed down in submission for the Luna. 

I placed Fathers food and drink in front of him and he proceeded to sniff it - probably to check if it was poisoned. After feeling that it was safe he merely grunted and told me to get lost to my room. 

I bowed deeply in unwilling respect for the Alpha and took the tray before exiting the once warm and fuzzy dining room. 

When I was out of sight, I quickly but softly dumped the tray in the sink and sprinted for my room. If you could even call it that. I live in the house attic amongst the rats and bats. Father refused to clean it out before dumping me and all my stuff in the attic at the ripe age of nine 

"We have to make room for your cousin" he had said before exiting and locking the closed door with a key.

Forget Harry Potter, maybe I was Rapunzel - minus the ridiculously long hair.

For hours I sat there in complete darkness, silently sobbing. Crying from someone to get me out, crying for someone to turn on the lights. I cried for my mummy, for my daddy. Hell, I even cried for my cousin to get me out of that scary place I now call my bedroom.  

No one came for me.

I fell asleep that night with my body wracking in violent sobs. I wrapped my arms around my legs and started rocking back and forth in a fetal position. Little whimpers for a saviour escaped my mouth and yet I was still all alone. 

I am always alone. 

~~oOo~~

Hey guys, thanks for reading my First Ever Story. There are many more chapters to come so please  vote, comment and follow me!

It would be great to hear what your thoughts on how this was and any feedback you want to give me would be awesome!

Just to clarify in case of any confusion, the part about her crying in the room and falling asleep alone, occured when she first moved in there. Thanks!

Stay fabulous and Stay tuned.

~~oOo~~