Summary: Ethan and Josie talk for the first time since he came home from the Amazon
Two months. Two months since Josie last laid eyes on Ethan Ramsey. Two months since she last kissed his lips. Two months since she awoke in his bed, bodies intertwined. Two months since he left her that same day.
It had been two months... until now. Now he is sitting beside her, in the beer garden of donohues. His knee ever so slightly touching hers, that would have been nothing for anyone but for Josie it felt like everything after so long of nothing.
"What?" Josie asked, too encased in her own thoughts to acknowledge what Ethan had said.
"We need a reset" Ethan repeated, not daring to look her in the eye for fear he may change his mind and take her back to his apartment.
"A reset!" she scoffed "Don't act like this is all my fault! You don't get to tell me that we're done after everything! You're the one who kissed me in Miami! Not me, you!" Sadness begins to overwhelm her, swallowing the lump that has began to form in her throat. She cannot let him see her cry, she cannot.
"That morning I woke up in your arms and you were in another continent less than twelve hours later, Ethan! Without so much as a goodbye! And now you're telling me to act like nothing ever happened? To act like I didn't fall for you? To act like you didn't break my heart?" she all but cried.
"I know, I'm sorry I-" he began
"No!" She interrupted, angrily pointing her finger to his chest. "You don't get to do that! You don't get to come here and-"
"Look Josie I'm sorry, truly I am." He interrupts "I never meant to hurt you." She scoffs and turns away from him, but Ethan struggles tell if it's in sadness or anger. Normally he could read her better than he could himself, but now there's distance between them, distance that he created. "But what I'm telling you now is that it's in the past, no matter how much we both want it in our future" he finally looks at her, a single, traitorous tear running down her cheek. He reaches out and cradles her face in his hands, gently lifting her head to meet his eyes, wiping away the tear with the pads of his fingers. "I'm sorry for leaving you, I didn't know what else to do".
"All you had to do was stay" she whispered, her voice shaking. "We could have figured it out together, Ethan" she raised her hands and cups his face, fingers running through the hair that she has longed to feel for so long, fingertips ever so delicately stroking the unfamiliar roughness of his beard and finally looks him in the eye. "We still can".
There is something unfamiliar in his eyes, something sad, something painful. Their eyes dart to each others lips, pulling the other in like a magnet. Slowly inches towards each other. Slowly giving into what they want most.
"No, we can't" Ethan whispers, just loud enough for her to hear it, his lips stroking hers ever so slightly. He knew it wasn't right, he knew it wasn't fair. He didn't want to keep hurting but if hurting her was the only way to keep her at arms length, then he would do it. No matter how much it pained him to do so.
Her face becomes cold as he removes the warmth of his hands and walks away. Leaving her behind in the cold created by his absence. Leaving her behind, again. He had left her again, both determined for it to be the last time, but both for very different reasons.
