Sign of the times

3

One week later, the band meets back. Something strange happened to Louis after the dinner party. His mind was filled with Harry. He knew he had no feelings towards him, yet his face kept popping up in his head. Simon Cowell officially listed the band as back together to every social media platform he could get his hands on. People went crazy. #1Disback was trending everywhere. Simon got several calls for the lads to do interviews from all the biggest talk shows. Rumored tour dates were already idealized by the fans. The whole situation seemed pretty chaotic. "I kind of forgot how crazy this all could get," Liam said to everyone at the table. The table was surrounded by Harry, Louis, Niall, two publicists, Simon, and few members of there record label. The boys nodded to Liam's comment, but they all kept to themselves while the other people were talking business. They used to not have much of a say, but now they hoped it would be different as Harry responded to one of the record label guys. "I think we should get to write whatever we want to write about. We could write about love, as always, but we could also write about whatever. I don't think, creatively speaking, it's a good idea to have only one topic to be tied down with." Louis smiled at Harry though he didn't mean for Harry to notice. He just loved how Harry could be serious in a non serious way. The record label guy responded. "I don't want to fix something that is not broken. We should not change what works." Louis got bothered by that. Simon noticed that Louis was about to speak so he spoke for him. " I think that whatever the boys put out, the fans will buy it. For some reason, they are beloved beyond their music abilities. Lets just let them do what they want." The boys were surprised by Simon's understanding tone. He has never been the type to throw that tone around lightly. No one at the table argued with him. "The boys and the music team will have control over the music. The conditions are to keep it PG like before. Made in the AM is as dirty the language will get alright? And I get to hear the stuff before it gets put out. I can make any final changes as long as they are small. Alright?" The boys never got freedom like this. Before, a lot of them never really had experience with song writing so when other people would write their songs, they didn't have much of a problem with it. As albums past that changed and now everyone is completely capable of making a song. Music and lyrics wise. Louis was getting excited at the thought and everyone else seemed to be getting excited too. "Don't get too excited. We still control the media. Your behavior during interviews will be monitored a little less than before. You are all adults now." They all wanted this conversation to be over when more business talk was being thrown around. Eventually everyone left. Simon told the boys to get started writing songs. "I love that Simon thinks writing songs is like something that can be done just like that," Louis joked. "Is it weird to anyone else how, I don't want to say cool, but cool how Simon's being?" Niall said. Everyone nodded except for Liam. "He hasn't been THAT bad to us," Liam defended Simon. "I'm sorry. Did I miss hear you or did you just say that Simon has not been that bad?" Louis judgmentally stared at Liam. Niall looked at Louis and back at Liam. Harry looked at the ground, but wore a strange smile on his face. "I know it was not perfect, but it could have been worse." Louis was about to argue back, but Harry beat him to it. "Any person who makes you pretend to be something you're not is not a nice person." No one was expecting Harry to speak up. He normally keeps quiet when fights break out. Harry looked Liam in the eye this time. "But no one really made you do that now did they?" "We all had to put up fronts. That is just something everyone has to do in this business," Liam defended himself. "But you weren't the one being set up as a womanizer now were you?" Harry was getting serious. Liam knew to back off of it. "Simon has made at least two people at this table lives a living hell at some point, but I guess no one remembers the past." This would be when Harry would walk out of the room, but he stayed in his seat. "It wasn't only Simon who decided on PR stunts and other shit like that," Liam kept going. "The fact of the matter is we should not have had to do stuff like that in the first place. And I won't do it again," Harry said. Liam nodded. " I won't either," Louis spoke up, thinking that siding with Harry was doing the right thing. "Well you would not have to. Not trying to be rude, but I have been given the worst of it and I won't do it again. I won't lie anymore." They all knew Harry was right. He has been given the worst of it. If it wasn't for Eleanor, Louis thought, things would be worse for him too. "We all understand," Niall spoke but Liam cut him off. "I know it won't be like how it was before." Harry nodded. An uncomfortable silence fell through the room. "Sorry. I'm trying to say what's on my mind," Harry said softly. "Lets just focus on your song Liam." Liam agreed and started handing out a piece of paper with his lyrics on it. The awkwardness was soon gone when they threw back words and ideas to each other. "This is pretty good," Louis said after everyone read through the papers. "Thanks but come one. Give me some constructive criticism. Louis, I know you're dying to," Liam said. "I don't have any," Louis said but Liam wasn't convinced. He looked into Louis' eye until he was given another answer. "Alright, Jesus. I am not quite understanding the pre chorus. It just isn't telling the same story as the rest of the song is." Liam read through his pre chorus nodding. "See that's what I mean. Thank you. Now everyone else needs to stop biting their tongues. "Okay, so in verse four you use the metaphor 'walking on broken glass' to describe the heart break but..." Harry continues his constructive criticism. All four of them just talk about their meanings of the song and new song ideas. It was a really productive meeting. About two hours of this goes by and Niall asks if everyone wants to go get a drink. They all agree and head to the nearest pub. Harry sets up a private party in the upper level of the building so they won't be interrupted by the fans. Niall orders everyone a drink. "So I guess were about to have a late night," Liam says while gulping down his drink. "So Nialler, you dating anyone?" Liam asks. "Shit, I've gotta call Eleanor." Louis stands up and dials his phone in the corner of the room. Harry watched him as he talked to her, feeling sad about the whole situation. "Nope, single and ready to mingle," Niall remembers he was asked a question. Louis walks back to the table. "So Harry, are you officially single now," Liam asked. Louis made sure to focus his ears on Harry while keeping his eyes on his drink. "Looks like it," Harry said. Louis could hear how sad Harry sounded. It broke his heart. Liam suddenly got a call. It looked important as he stood up quick and walked out of sight. "Wonder what that was about," Niall said. Niall went up to go pee a second later, leaving Harry and Louis alone. "So, when are you planning on proposing?" Harry asked out of nowhere. Louis was surprised by the question and wondered where it came from. "You told me you wanted to marry her right?" Harry smiled warmly at him. Louis wondered why he still didn't feel comfortable talking about this around him. He only would do that to make him mad. He didn't want this topic and he barely remembered telling Harry that. He still nodded though while biting his lip. "Soon." Louis had no idea. Harry looked a little tense but not like Louis. "Are you happy?" Harry asked. Louis didn't know how to answer that. "Do you mean in life or with her?" "Isn't that the same thing." Louis knew this yet still could not make sense of the answer. Was he happy? He remembered a time in his life where he felt nothing but happy. All Louis knew is that he didn't feel like that. He hasn't felt like that since the day his son was born and before that it was when he was still together with Harry. All of a sudden when Louis looked into Harry's eyes, he realized that he wasn't happy. "Yeah I am," Louis lied right to his face. "Then I'm happy for you." Harry gave a smile that he hasn't seen in a while. His goofy, dimpled smile that made him fall in love with him in the first place. Louis felt himself looking into Harry's eyes. He started to remember all of the feelings that he pushed down for so long. Harry noticed the staring and coughed nervously. Louis woke out of his trance a little embarrassed. Luckily, Niall came rushing back with a hand full of mints in his hand and a big smile. " Look at how many mints I stole." Niall made himself laugh as Louis and Harry nodded in unison. Liam returned with a stressed face as he sat down and gulped his beer. "What was that all about?" Niall asked. "Nothing," Liam shrugged it off but his face was saying that it wasn't nothing. "So Harry, I've got a friend I think you'd hit it off with. She's really lovely," Liam told Harry. Louis immediately stopped chewing the fries he had ordered when Niall ordered the drinks. The thought of Harry dating someone made him utterly sick. " Thanks Liam but I think I can manage setting myself up," Harry said. Liam looked a little freaked out by this answer as he kept convincing Harry how great this girl was. Harry laughed nervously. "I'm really okay," Harry said but Liam kept going. "He doesn't want a fucking date Liam Jesus," Louis bursted out not being able to handle the idea and persistence of Liam anymore. Everyone stopped talking to just look at Louis. Honestly, nonone would have put attention to it if it weren't Harry Louis was talking about. "Jeez sorry. Just trying to help since you have never done anything for him," Liam, getting irritated, fought back. Harry put his hand on his forehead along with Niall, both fearing a classic Liam and Louis discussion/fight. "He's a grown ass man. He doesn't need anyone's help," Louis said. "He needs more help than you think, but what would you know about that?" Liam used his upset voice. That kind of tone only fuels Louis though. "And what is that supposed to mean Liam?" "Guys please," Niall pleads for them to stop. "It means that I remember a time when you would have done literally anything for him. I also remember a time when you wished he were dead!" Liam went too far. It was obvious as the whole room went silent. Liam walked out of there, not believing that he just said that. Louis just sat frozen, too afraid to look at Harry as new forming guilt attached itself to his stomach. He slowly looked over at Harry. Harry's eyes made Louis nearly cry himself to death. Harry just looked so sad and beaten. Niall tried to comfort Harry, but didn't know how to. "You wished that I was dead?" Harry whimpered out. He looked so betrayed like Louis should have just stabbed him in the back; that would have been less painful. Louis didn't know what to say. He just remembered how angry he was when he said that. At the time, he thought he was mad at Harry or the world, now he knows that he was just mad at himself. "It was a long time..." Louis tried to explain himself but Harry cut him off. "You know what, it doesn't matter." Harry stood up and walked away. Louis was left with a rightly judgemental Niall staring at him. "Why would you say that?" Louis shrugged truly not understanding it either. "I have just been the biggest ass hole to him ever since I realized that I couldn't live the life I wanted and be with him at the same time." "Why?" Niall asked. "Why I have been an asshole or why I couldn't live my life with him?" "Both." "I was, am in asshole because I..." Louis started tearing up. He could not continue as more tears fell. Niall sighed and stood up to put his hand on Louis' back. "You don't have to explain it to me. You just have to explain it to Harry," Niall sympathetically said. Niall soon left and Louis was left alone. He put a fifty on the table but not before grabbing a glass cup and smashing it into the wall. He decided to leave another fifty. Louis went to see Eleanor. He wanted some comfort even though he knew he didn't deserve any. He cleared up his crying on the way there. At the same time, Niall found Harry at the hotel he was staying at. "I think I care too much," Harry said, trying to reason with his sadness. "That is never a bad thing," Niall rubbed Harry's back. "No, I mean think about it. The whole time that we didn't speak to each other, I was writing songs about him. I was listening to his songs to find any deeper meaning about me in his lyrics. I was trying to stay connected to him any way I could. But of course at the same time I was doing all of that, Louis was doing the exact opposite and trying to stay as far away from me as possible. I mean his lyrics are not even almost about me. They are all about eleanor," Harry kept forcing back from crying as he used his quivering voice. Niall just sat and listened to him rant. "I thought you said you didn't listen to his music." "I lied. I didn't want him feeling bad for not listening to mine. I guess I should be thankful right now for him ignoring mine completely. It would be too embarrassing." Niall gave him a soft smile. "You know Louis could not have meant that he wished you were dead." "I know he didn't mean it, but the fact is that he said it. The fact is that I have been holding on to so much stuff that he has let go of years ago. I think I need to let go too." Niall hugged Harry as his tears inevitably escaped.