Heartbreak & Honeysuckle

-00- Hurt Me Once

PROLOGUE

"If you have to hurt me, hurt me once. If you have to end it, get it done. You have all these choices, I have none. You're all that I have to lose. Couldn't hurt you if I wanted to. I decided on you."
~Ben Platt, 'Hurt Me Once'

~~~

Rainwater rolls down porcelain skin, mixing in with salty tears that drip from emerald eyes. His blonde hair, completely drenched, sticks every which way to his forehead. August Parker knows he looks like a mess, but he can't find the strength within himself to care.

The tapping of water against the hard studio floor fills the nearly deafening silence. After all, is there a silence worse than when a boy pleads with the one he loves, and has to wait in agony for a response?

As he waits for Griffin Ortiz to respond to his confession, August's mind races to things that shouldn't matter right now. Like how they're both missing their joint graduation party with all of their friends. Or how the rainwater pooling from August's soaked clothes might ruin the hardwood floors of the music studio.

The performing arts university they just graduated from will probably heavily fine August for any damages the water might cause to the floor, but yet again, that is one of those things that shouldn't matter right now. Because what truly matters is Griffin, standing ten feet away from him, clutching a rolled-up aux chord tight enough to turn his knuckles white, and the painful silence that continues to stretch out.

"Griffin, please," August chokes out, his voice shaky and lacking its usual confidence. "Say something, huh? Anything."

Lifting his head, Griffin looks at the person who was supposed to be his best-friend-slash-fuck-buddy, and nothing more. When the two started hooking up several months ago, they very clearly agreed to not expect more than friendship. Griffin had kept up his end of the deal, and is left with a flurry of complicated emotions over hearing that his best friend hasn't done the same.

"What do you expect me to say to that?" Griffin questions so lowly that August nearly misses it over the sound of dripping rainwater. "Honestly, August. What the hell is going through your mind right now?"

The back pocket of August's faded jeans vibrates, an indication that someone is trying to call him. August ignores it, swallowing thickly to keep another rush of tears from pouring down.

"I just..." August stammers.

"You just what?" Griffin cuts him off. "Dammit, August! Why now? Why did you have to pick today to do this, when you know I'm leaving for grad school soon?"

"But that's why!" August says hurriedly, flinching when he feels his phone vibrating again. "I didn't want you to leave without knowing how I feel! I wanted to give this a shot before it was too late. I wanted—"

"What about what I want?" Griffin interrupts him once again.

When August falls silent, Griffin mutters under his breath — something in Spanish that August can't understand. Frustrated, he runs a hand through his dark, disheveled hair. August's own hand twitches as he recalls running his fingers through his best friend's silky locks during their many late-night dorm visits.

"What I want," Griffin continues lowly, "is to wrap up things here and focus on getting my master's degree in Music Production. You know, exactly what I've planned on doing since we both started school here four years ago."

"Am I on the list of things you need to wrap up?" August questions with an edge of bitterness in his tone. "The last thing you need to toss out before moving onto grad school?"