Like I said previously, I'm generally very shy and awkward. I hated talking on the phone and I was just barely okay with texting but it was my preferred method of communication. But with him, it was different. I hated texting with him and I could spend hours on the phone and it still wouldn't be enough. We slept together on call, we video chatted, and everything felt like a dream.
I spent my entire life listening to my family and friends tell me that whoever I would turn out to be, would not be enough. I felt incapable of being loved by someone, let alone being loved by someone like him. I spent my days walking around like a zombie because I was so depressed, not taking the world in, just living on autopilot. At night, I'd cry and wish that I had never been born. I self-harmed almost every day and had had previous suicide attempts. But it all stopped when I met him.
