The night is silent....
I can hear the ticking of a clock somewhere in my room.
I didn't even know I had a clock.
I'm laying in bed and I look upon the stars and ask: why?
Tears creep from my eyes as the question gets louder in my head.
why?
Why am I the way that I am?
Why did I have to be me and not someone else?
Why?
Why is it that I have to be so guarded and so afraid all the time?
Why is it that every time I try to let someone in they don't seem to care?
Why?
Why do I have to be so boring?
Why am I only a background character to everyone's life, including my own?
Why?
Why do things seem like they will get better, but end up worse.
Why do I have to remember all the terrible things in the middle of a happy moment?
Why?
Why did I have to go through so much pain? Why did I have to suffer alone in a battle only I knew I was fighting. Why did I have to cry so much I was left dry of any emotions? Why do I have to keep reminding myself that everything will be okay instead of actually believing it? Why do I feel so alone? Why did it have to be me? Why can't I go back to feeling "normal"? When when will I feel at peace with who I am and when will i ever get the chance to feel what others feel? When will I feel passionate about my dreams? When will I fall in love? Will anyone ever fall in love with me? Will anyone EVER take at least a peak at my honest naked soul and understand? Am I even capable of love? When will these haunting questions leave my mind? Why? Why? Why? Why do they always leave? Why am I never anything special? Why won't these feelings go away?
why?why?why?why?why?why?
Why can't I stop crying ...
