Written in the Stars: Book 2 of the "Written" Duology

Remembrance

I was aware that I was moved. That much I knew. I was wandering around through darkness for what seemed like forever.

Am I dead? I asked.

No answer.

I walked until I started to see the familiar surroundings. I slipped inside a doorway and saw myself lying face down on a table. Someone was bent over me as if they were weeping. I walked closer and saw they weren't weeping, by cutting into my back. I heard myself scream as I saw this person—Trevor—pulling something red from my back.

Spitfire! I thought with a shudder. I saw the hide in all its bloody glory, trying desperately to get back to my body, when Trevor pulled it out. I wanted to rip Trevor's throat out, and as I walked toward him, I was thrown back into darkness.

My body was aware that I was awake before my mind did. I felt the burning of my back and of my throat. I opened my eyes slowly, being blinded by the light in the room where I was at.

"Thank God," I heard someone say and held my hand in theirs. I instantly knew who it was.

Hamish. I thought as I focused more on my surroundings. "Where am I?" I asked, my voice feeling raw.

"Your back at the Den," Lilith said, looking at me with concern.

God, why was I so cold and empty? That was my second thought.

I looked around and registered that I was in the reliquary. "Why do I feel cold?" I asked, looking at Hamish, shivering again.

The Knights exchanged uneasy glances.

"Uh," Randall said. "You see, there was a little problem when we came to get you-"

"Your hide was taken from you by dick-leak," Lilith said, cutting Randall off. Randall gave her a 'really?' look and Lilith gave a shrug. I looked at her.

"What?" I asked. "I-" I cut myself off as I remembered my first dream.

The one with the fighting wolves. I was just trying to remember the details when another, more real one, swamped that one.

Spitfire being separated from me.

That actually happened.

I gave a gasping sob. This couldn't be real. It just couldn't. My hide was everything. Without it I'm... nothing. How could they want me now? I'm useless and without Spitfire-

I started to hyperventilate, freaking out. Hamish grabbed my arms to steady me. "Hey, breathe with me," He said, instructing a breathing exercise for me. I nodded my head, breathing slowly in and out with Hamish. We sat there and did it a few times before I actually felt better.

Well, almost. If my back wasn't throbbing in excruciating pain, then paint me yellow and call me fucking sunshine.

"Better?" Hamish asked. I gave him a nod, trying my best to not cry. My back throbbed as well as my thigh and I didn't feel like looking at either place to see how bad it really was. I couldn't do anything but breath, and even that felt like a chore. I sat there, feeling numb.

I didn't hear Randall and Lilith leave. I wasn't really aware of anything. Not even when Hamish guided me to his bedroom here at the Den. Not even when he helped me lay on my stomach.

I barely register my voice telling him to stay when he tried to leave. Hamish gave a soft smile and walked over, getting on the bed; his back against the wall and his legs splayed across the bed.

We stayed silent for a while. Well, almost. I was crying. Hamish was messing with my hair absentmindedly, comforting me with gentle head strokes. I finally lifted up my head to look at Hamish. "I'm sorry," I croaked out. Hamish gave me a confused look.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"For everything," I responded. "We wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for me," I said quietly. "If I went to that stupid house, and if I haven't ran here, and if I haven't have gone out to that stupid bar, or agreed to go with Trevor, none of this would have happened-" I cut myself off, my voice was trembling. "And now I'm useless and only bogging you guys down," I averted my eyes and looked at the bedding.

Hamish blew out a sigh. "It's not your fault, Z. and you're not useless," He reassured me. "If anything, you're the most useful out of all of us combined,"

"How?" I asked, looking back up at Hamish. "Tell me one thing I could do to help," I challenged.

Hamish sat there for a moment, thinking. "You can help by helping us with a game plan," He said. "We need to get your hide back as well as taking Trevor down. He's too dangerous to be left unchecked,"

There're those words again. Too dangerous to be left unchecked. That's what Lilith said about me the first day I met them. They have serious trust issues; and not that I blame them. Not that I am in a place that I can—I have them too.

I started to feel somewhat better, but I wasn't fully convinced that I could be much use beyond that. What if they decide to kick me to the curb if we fail to get my hide back or to take Trevor down? I thought suddenly.

I gave Hamish my best smile that I could muster. He smiled back in return. "You need rest to let your back heal," Hamish murmured, adjusting himself so now he laying down and, on his side, looking at me. "I'll stay if it makes you feel better," He said. I gave a gentle and sleepy smile as I looked at him through half closed eyes.

He was the last thing I saw before I was back in darkness.