The Storm - A Collection of Original Poems

Growth and Decay

I feel false. Fake. Like I'm not real.
To be honest I don't know what I feel. 
There's a pit in my chest that extends,
It leads to 20 dead ends.
I need closure but my life feels like a run-on sentence,
I feel the pressure to submit to false repentance.
My unstructured calamity of a life,
Sharpen the knife,
Avoid the light,
Make the incision,
Bleeding out, can't change that decision.

I feel empty, hollow, like a shell.
I want to escape my self-made hell.
I want my words to last.
They disappear too fast,
Once the stones are cast,
And the thunder blasts,
All goes silent.
The decision was made long ago,
But by whom I do not know.

My heart bleeds inside of me,
Only To allow me to be.
There are answers to questions I can't see,
I don't believe,
I am not free,
This forsaken creed,
It's smothering.

The silence is deafening in my ears,
I'm screaming for help but nobody hears, 
I can't confront my own fears,
The lips turn to teeth turn to spears,
My conscience is not clear.

My words dwindle.
I'm no swindler,
I follow fates spindle.

I am dying.

There's more to say,
Can't wait for the day,
To escape this decay.

Everything comes to an end.
I hope when I get there I'll have a friend.
I'm afraid to go alone.
I don't know if I have a home,
Or even a heart to follow.

The words begin to grow as I panic,
My actions become so manic,
Nobody recognizes the darkness.
I'm a pool of gas waiting for a spark.
I know my destructive tendencies,
I want to save you and keep them to me,
I don't want you to, but I know you see.

I'm running out of words but there's so much left unsaid, 
I need to say it all before I'm dead,
The thoughts swirling in my head, 
They cover all in red.
Or maybe blue.
There are so many emotions that are new,
I can't think straight when I'm with you.
When I met you I flew.
The love I feel is true.

I feel like I'm alone in outer space,
Like the loser of an arms race,
I've fallen from my false grace, 
My efforts were a waste.
Things sit incomplete for weeks
And I cannot find my feet.
Everything passes at high speed,
And the pressure brings me to my knees.
The one thing I know I need 
Is the comfort of your heat.
And the Storm rages on within me.