I stood up. My hands tightened into a fist. How much more of this can I take? I cleaned every room in the house. My hands were soar, my knee's were bruised and every thing sparkled and yet it's not good enough? I'v watched our maid clean half as fast as I do and not get things so clean. I stared into my mother's eyes. Was I about to allow her to get away with this? I'v become so fed up with. ... everything. How in the world can I change my life? Become the person I want to be if I don't stick up for myself?
"What!?" Mother screamed.
"I said get away from me!" Tears rolled but a flame was burning within. "I am not going to let you throw me around like some doll!. ... I'm more than that." I told her gripping her wrist.
"You malevolent child!" She said as her arms flung me with a thrust across the floor. "I will not be overpowered by my own kid." She said grinding her teeth.
She picked me up by my arm and shoved me into my room.
"I will never be your child and you shall never be my mother." I looked deep within her eyes.
The door slammed. I stood there, mind blown. Where had this courage suddenly come from? The night was peaceful, the cold air slipped through my windows. Whispering to me, I could hear everything it was saying. I felt so calm, at peace with myself. Like a lullaby the wind sang to me as I drifted off.
I didn't go to school today. My mind was elsewhere, mother was elsewhere. Maybe I finally broke through to her, maybe she realizes how wrong she is. My heart skipped a beat, the thought of my biological mother actually being a mother to me. It reminded me of drums, listening to its rhythm.
Watching the clouds and seagulls fly below the building, airplanes flow like the wind. I realized this is not the life I'm meant for and it is not the life I deserve. Only can I make the change.
I went to school today. I was quiet and yet social. Staring at all these people, I wished they'd gone through half the things I'v experienced, witnessed. Having other people to talk to who could understand without actually looking at me as a different person.
I stared at my paperwork and watched my thoughts like a movie. Someone else had entered my mind. "Maybe it's time to become a different person. Stop being that afraid little girl and become the best you can be. "
Silence surrounded my thoughts. I had no idea of what to say.
"Come one do your work. Else that will be added to your home work." the teacher implied.
How could I do my work with so much on my mind? Does she have an abusive mother and father? I doubted it. Mother was taking over me, the things I picture she'd do to me. How I stood up to her, not my smartest move. I'v looked up online about abusive parents and their kids. I have to say that I am one of the lucky ones, my mother doesn't bathe me in bleach or poison the little food I am able to have. She doesn't try and kill me and sometimes I wonder, why not? What did I do or am doing to make her hate me so much? Same goes for my father.
Looking up the bell wrung and I hurried outside, the sun was shining. Beating on my skin, I missed the summer. Kids were running for dear life, it was the weekend. Jake was walking out, holding his red back pack. I ran to him, he looked so cute today.
"Hey!" I screamed running into him.
"Hey. What's up?" He said staring at me.
"Do you want to hang out today?" I said with a smile.
Jake looked at her, astonished. She seemed like a totally different person today. The angle the sun was at, it made her look like an angel.
"Yeah. Sure." He laughed.
We walked together. Holding onto our backpacks. Mother would not be pleased but this isn't mothers life.
The sun parted through the tree's. It was getting late, Jake and I were just starting to get to know each other better. I know, I'm only 11 and this seems like I am way to young to be staying out later or even to be having crushes but. He is the only one I feel, I can be myself with. I don't feel like I can get hurt, I like when he is around, his smile, his hair and the smile he puts on my face. I forgot I even knew how to smile before I met him.
"Ohm. Look at the stars. I never get to see them around here." Jake awed.
I watched him in awe. His eyes were so open, so into the fact he could see stars. It sounded a bit ridiculous to me and made me laugh a bit.
"I see stars all the time. They are like our angels, watching everything we do."I stared along with him.
"How old are you?" I asked Jake.
"I am twelve, how about you?." He replied.
"Eleven."I answered.
"I have heard rumors that you are really rich or something. Is that true?" He asked.
I sat there and thought of the words he just asked me. It seemed the air suddenly got colder.
"What if it is?" I looked at him.
"I don't mind. Doesn't make a difference." He said leaning back. "I like you." He blushed.
I turned away. I thought I'd be glad to hear those words, but it just seemed. ... different. I smiled and looked back at him.
"I should be going now. My Mom said to be home by 8PM." He shrugged.
"Okay. Well, I'll see you in school?" I asked.
"Yeah. You have a way to get home? Wa-" He asked.
"No, yes I have a way home." I cut him off.
"Okay well. Bye now!" He walked off and waved.
"Bye!" I chirped.
I know by now Mother must be taking a fit. Things would be better if she'd just put me up for adoption.
