I sit in my corner, in front of the window and stare. How the rain falls, it looks so sad, it looks like the window is crying. The clouds scream because the lightening is hurting them, one strike after another. I stare out to the city and wonder, looking into my own reflection, my own ravine.
I don't talk much but to myself and I can say that it's quite entertaining. I laugh and make the best of the jokes I contemplate. I look to the other kids at school and discourage them, how happy they look and the things they say " Ohm, I'm going to Miami this summer", " I can't wait for camp" another said.
Lunch started, I eat at lunch alone. I mean, who'd want to talk to me? I don't want anyone to talk to me anyhow, they'd probably tell me how great their life is. I don't even like to eat lunch, what's the point? You can get fat over school lunch and become the next contestant on the biggest looser.
" Why aren't you eating lunch, Kate?" asked Mrs. Whinny.
" I already ate" I said with that fake smile I was so good with.
" You're so skinny I'm sure they'd give you another." Mrs. Whinny laughed and walked away.
Well I am 11, 4'10" and 75 pounds. I wasn't the heaviest girl you'd meet, nor the poorest.
School was over and my mother was the one to pick me up, how I scorned her, hated her and though in some sick way, loved her. As I got into the car, ohm how I hated that car, it was life or death.
" Open your mouth!" My mother demanded squeezing my cheeks together, smelling my breath.
My heart pounded and fear struck me. I never dared look into my mother eyes, it was like the devil was in her looking through me. Her sweet talking voice and all done up hair and expensive clothes made her seem like the best mother there could be.
We got home and of course dad wasn't home, he was to busy fucking some other chick. I was glad Dad wasn't home, I'm always glad when Dad's gone.
" Come on, hurry up!" Mother demanded as I scooted into the house.
I quickly ran into the bathroom.
" Get your fucking ass out here!" Mother yelled through the door.
I quickly jumped off the toilet, brushed my teeth and ran through the door.
" Come here!" Mother groaned holding me by my hair.
" Let go of me!" I yelled.
Charging through the hallway, she whipped my door open and through me as if she was an amazon.
" Here's your dinner, enjoy" She snickered and gave me a candy bar.
I sat in my bed all night, savoring every piece of that candy bar. The moon was bright and shining tonight as was the city from up so high. I lived in a condo, 88th floor, Manhattan. Every night I go to bed and lay there, afraid to sleep, worried that one day I won't wake up and if I do, I'll still be here, in this lonely, isolated place.
Father and mother have been arguing a lot lately. I didn't mind the dishes being thrown, loud yelling or grunting? I hear that a lot in their bedroom. If they weren't bothering me, leaving bruises on me or yelling at me. Then life wasn't to bad.
"How can you say that? I spent $100K, that's not close to spending as much as you spent on that , what was it? A McLaren 12C Spyder? Bull shit." Mother snapped.
The living room was spotless, not a spec of dust could be seen with a microscope. Our maid never stopped cleaning, when mother was here anyways. The room had white carpeting, glass tables made with sterling silver, the vase alone positioned in the middle of the glass table was worth $200K at least; made of pure diamond.
"I have a meeting to go to, I don't have the patience and time to argue with you." Father turned around before walking out the door, being a tease. "By the way, honey. I will not. Be coming home tonight." He walked out the door.
Mother raged in the house. Pacing, breaking every expensive item she could find. Which was everything. I looked at my bedroom closet, my heart pounding at every yell, every shatter I heard. I hid in my closet, the space wasn't small, adequate. Clothes hung, I had shelves aligned to my wall, like giant indents perfectly squared. A drawer camouflaged under the bottom rows, underneath the shelves. I don't think anyone even knows it is here. The maid barely knows I exist, not allowed in my room. Mother has never been in my closet aside from trying to find me and so far still hasn't.
I heard foot steps, mother was trying to be sneaky. Trying to find me. Every step my heart jumped, my breaths became less shallow, I could hardley catch my breath. I did myself the favor of covering my mouth.
"Kate. Dear, I just want to bring you some food." She tried to bait.
I smelt the food. Ohm how good it smelled, my stomach turned and gurgled. Closer she came to the closet, I could feel the dark presence.
Mother turned looking around, the room had a chill to it. The room was big enough to fit 2 queen sized beds and a couch in it. A twin bed sat in the middle, the only piece of furniture to disturb the silence of the emptiness. Mother stuck her head out the window, which connected to a fire escape.
I heard a slam, the window raddled. The door slammed as she walked away, along with the food. I was safe for now. She must think I escaped. Wouldn't be the first time.
