MC: "Hey Beel, I have a question for you."
Beel: "Hmm? What is it MC?"
MC: "Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine?"
Beel confused: "Wha-?"
MC: "Cause you lookin' like a snacc."
Beel now visibly worried: "....MC, have you eaten today? Would you like to go out for food???"
MC muttering to themselves in disbelief: "Holy shit, the pick up line worked!"
--------
*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Lucifer: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
MC: ... I did. I broke it.
Lucifer: No, no you didn't. Beel?
Beelzebub: Don't look at me. Look at Levi.
Leviathan: What?! I didn't break it.
Beelzebub: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Leviathan: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken!
Beelzebub: Suspicious.
Leviathan: No, it's not!
Belphegor: If it matters, probably not, but Asmo was the last one to use it.
Asmodeus: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Belphegor: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Asmodeus: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, BELPHIE!
MC: Okay, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it.
Lucifer: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Leviathan: Hey... Mammon's been awfully quiet.
Mammon: REALLY?!*Everyone starts arguing*
Lucifer: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it.
--------
Lucifer: Satan is mad at me, and I'm not sure why.
Asmo: Okay, did you talk before he got upset?
Lucifer: ...yes?
Asmo: That's probably it.
---------
Barbatos: My friends say I'm the most charismatic out of the group.
MC: Well, you always have a smile on your face.
Barbatos: Thank you.
MC:
MC: What drugs do you take?
--------
Lucifer: It's time for your punishment
Lucifer: *smirks*
[Minutes later]
Lucifer: Why are you struggling and using your fingers?
MC, sobbing as they desperately use their fingers for their math homework: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT TO DO
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/280529699-288-k202295.jpg)
YOU ARE READING
𝗢𝗕𝗘𝗬 𝗠𝗘 𝗢𝗡 𝗖𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗞✔︎
Random[𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗟𝗘𝗧𝗘] I'm a sucker for Obey Me(at least everyone exluding belphegor) so i thought why not make a incorrect quotes book since i don't have any hobbies we're here. Credits go the people who made them and theres now 5 quotes per chapter.