R.I.P.

Chapter 1

Flashback .
His first lover.

Kill me , please.

I can not take this anymore.

I whisper as the tears ran along my cheek whilst I bang my forehead aggressively against the mirror.

I am not worthy of my breathe for I am a failure .

I whispered into them empty bathroom as I listened to the water run inside inside of the shower.

I'm supposed to be cleaning my body but instead I am standing in front if the mirror banging my forehead against it .

Tears stopped at no time , they just kept spilling as I stopped banging my head against the mirror and brought My hands up to my few.

The scars which littered my light skin , my race might call me dumb for thinking a rich white man would ever want a light skin black guy but I'm not .

You can not help who your soul connects with, you can not help who your body craves for.

I crave his touch, I crave the psychical pain he inflicted, but the eternal, emotional pain , I can not withstand it , I need him !

I want him. I deserve him.

He alone , he is the only man which understands me, the only man which can want me as I am .

But apparently I was wrong , for he is fucking another right now upon my bed , in my house, the other males voice rises every now and then .

"ELI!" The male moans , making me shudder in disgust, how dare he do this to me.

"Right there, Ah- , yes, fuck me" the male voices as the head board of my bed slams against wall.

It echos throughout the halls, the male's moans can be heard outside the house, they have been going at it for at least two ours or more , for I haven't left the house As I said I would this morning, only because I was no longer feeling well , instead I went down into the basement where I do My relaxing time.

When I heard the door to my house opened I payed no heed , but 5 minutes later moaning rumbled throat the house .

I wait for the pot upon the stove to heat the content in it as I stand it front of the bathroom mirror , blood oozing from my injured forehead.

I closed my eyes as I mentally prepared myself for my future , I inhaled a deep breathe as I departed from the bathroom padding my way back to the kitchen where I saw the content the pot hold is greatly heated .

Picking the black round smoking frying pan into my grasp , with a blank mind blurry vision and no emotion.

I pad my way towards my bedroom.

I pad my way up the staircase , slowly taking step by step, not because I am scared but because I am savoring this moment.

I pad my way through the halls, past the opened bathroom door.

I turned upon a sharp corner of my house As I continued down the new hallway at the end which my bedroom is.

Without warning I turn the door knob slowly while I push the door open , the door is well oiled , it does not make a sound.

As they continued to fuck upon my velvet red sheets as my husband's head rests upon my black velvet pillow cased pillow .

I stand there , I watch on as they fuck, still oblivious to my existence, still oblivious to the door being wide open while o stood in its way , with a hot frying pan which heald boiling content .

"You are so submissive, I wish I would have met you before I met Andrew " I responds to the olive skinned males moan with a groan of his own.

"Eli, fuck me harder" the male breathes out as his eyes rolled to the back of his head , I probably look crazy, standing in the doorway of my bedroom with a pan in my hands as I wore one of Elijah's big white shirts with blood spilled on it as it still drip down my face so does the tears for it does not wish to stop.

I take steady patient steps towards the bed the male faces me but he does not notice I am here, the male's I trusted is the ones which betrayed me .

I feel stupid , useless.

As I stand before them I launch the hot iron pan at them the content spilling out falling upon their naked skin, they scream an I smile.

The pot has landed upon my husband's now exposed dick as more oil spills upon his abdomen.

I smile as I turn around and walked off hearing their screams and groans in pain mixed with curses .

I no longer care for anyone it is now time to care for me.

It Is time I love myself.