Thinking Too Hard

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I shouldn't even be thinking that question,
but it keeps popping up.

It's there
like a dull headache
that won't go away.

I sit on the couch
and turn the TV on
and think about
my dilemma.

I still love him.
I will always love him.
But him is the Jackson I knew.
The walking,
talking,
breathing
Jackson.

I'm not just sure
I can wholly
and completely
with everything I am
be satisfied
loving
a ghost.

And then I feel the coldness.

"Jackson," I whisper.
"You're here."

Can he hear my thoughts?
Does he know?

An image of Lyric
darts in.
I shake my head.
It doesn't help.

What is wrong with me????

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