Oneshot #3: Save me

Save me

"Lately I haven't been myself, I kept on spacing out" I inhaled deeply and started to smoke til my throat hit its limit

I don't know what to do
I can't take this feeling anymore

It's burning and exhausting me

Its not like I wanted to let that happen, I didn't know

I can't make it stop it keeps on going back over and over again

There are voices in my head that wanted me to just snatch something sharp and stab myself to death

It kept on saying that I have to just jump and forget everything

I'm scared but I cannot do anything about it

I'm depressed as f*ck and I needed something to distract me from hurting myself

As I walked to the back door, I heard someone's crying

She was like a ghost and didn't care about these people looking at her

Hmmm let me guess, love life? the boy must've dumped her

Poor girl, all she wanted to do is to love him and yet this is his payment?

Nahh not my d*mn business
to mind though

Guess that's what life really is

I don't even want to remeber how my parents gave up easily

Do they really think about me, when they decided to end their lives?

I was just 13 years old that time for f*cks sake

I can't even do my laundry at that time because they wouldn't let me and said that I just need to study and do my homeworks

Little did I know that we are having a problem and they chose to not inform me because as what they have written in their last will they didn't want me to worry or be stress about it because I was so young that time

I could've help them and make them feel that I was there,
to support them and make them feel not to give up

Yet they chose to leave me all alone to handle the business they had given me

I'm now 17 years old and months from now I'll be the one handling the business given to me

It makes me more even pressured because I don't have any idea how I'm supposed to do with it

It's just a small business related to pottery and furnitures

I entered my unit and throw myself in the couch boredly

"These days was becoming more and more exhausting" I murmured

For me there weren't a normal days for people like me, who's energy is always low and lifeless

"It was all dreadful days and nights" I said and then sigh deeply

I woke up because my alarm is bugging me