Neverending Peace

This is me Trying

Thanks to everyone who comments I love reading them😂

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After the American Music Awards marked the beginning of the bulk of Taylor's chemotherapy treatment. Once every other week she would go to the hospital for chemotherapy, every day was filled with pills.

Taylor's birthday came and went without a hitch. The team had a small celebration for her before their afternoon practice began.

It wasn't until four weeks in, just a couple of days before the Country Music Awards, that there was any major change. That morning Taylor came in sporting a new look.

"You're wearing a bandana," said Joe, surprised.

Taylor laughed sheepishly. "Yeah. My mom bought some the other day. Because of, you know..." She swept generally at her head. "It started coming out in clumps the other day. It's...weird."

"Is that normal?"

"The doctors said it was a possibility. And that most of it would happen within a few weeks." Taylor laughed dryly. "Looks like I can't keep hiding it forever."

Lauryn walked in as well skipping over to Joe and slinging an arm over his shoulder not yet acknowledging Taylor's presence.

"Hey, you're coming to the after party right? I need your help picking out an outfit." She said giddily.

"Um, I'm not sure. I think I might just stay after and help clean up the vocals." He responded.

" Oh come on, I hate going alone." She pleaded. Joe slightly looked over at Taylor a million thoughts going though his head.

" Are you going Taylor, it could be fun?" he said.

She just looked down and mumbled a slight no. " I think I just want to rest afterwards."

As if it we're her signature move Lauryn rolled her eyes making sure her head was tilted enough that no one saw.

"Oh, ok. Yeah Lauryn I think I'll sit this one out." He bit his lip awaiting his friends reaction.

She plastered a fake smile on her face " Okie Dokie guess I'll just hang out with the people that know how to have fun." She finally turned towards Taylor. Seeing her shyly staring at the floor. "Oh, and nice hat" She chuckled. "I'll definitely make sure to wear that for our costume party." She walked away smirking and letting go of Joe with a soft rub on the shoulder.

"Thanks" Taylor mumbled.

''See even Lauryn loves it. I don't know why you guys don't hang out more."

Taylor could think of more than a few reasons dating back to the first time she met Joe. But that didn't matter. Joe and Lauryn were best friends, it wasn't jealousy she just hated seeing her all over him.

"Will you wear it during the show?" Joe asked snapping her out of her her thoughts.

Taylor's mouth pinched into a tight line. "I'll think of something."

And that she did.

"A wig?" asked Selena, incredulous.

"Yeah! It'll last the weekend, hopefully." Taylor adjusted it a bit before turning around. "Well? How does it look?"

The color was a bit off, lighter than her naturally hue, but it wasn't bad.

Selena nodded. "Passable."

"Good. I know that some people on the team are figuring it out, but I don't want it to be the forefront of all conversation on the red carpet."

Taylor beamed. "Great!"

"How is the wig though? Honestly."

"Itchy." She groaned rubbing her head softly not wanting to move it.

"And how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Selena. Now stop. I'm only doing one practice. After that you'll perform and I can rest.

Selena didn't look convinced, Taylor sighed. "You could still use a track. They won't be able to tell you're lip synching and it'll be easier."

Taylor shook her head. "Listen, I'm well and good. Okay? So don't worry so much. And I'm not doing that. I would know and I can't deal with doing that in front of people that came to watch me sing. Not listen to a track."

With that she turned and slipped off the wig. Softly placing it in its case.

By August it was very clear Taylor wasn't doing as well as before.

She wore the wig most of the time now. She'd lost weight. She was also out of interviews more often now, having to visit the doctor more often. Joe asked about it, but to no avail. Taylor would simply smile and brush it off like she always did.

It wasn't brought up again until after they left for Tokyo. The bus ride went smoothly, but Taylor was up at the crack of dawn groaning. It woke Joe, who was sitting next to her.

"How are you feeling?" Joe asked.

Taylor looked pale.

"I'm fine," She said firmly.

"Are you sure you're okay to go to this show?" Joe asked, his voice laced with concern. "I'm sure we can arrange for you to go home early. Tour isn't until next year. This isn't necessary"

Taylor sighed. "All I can do at this point is what I can. I want to be there, Joe, and I'm going to stay for the whole week."

"It'll be tough. And hot, I heard."

"My mom already called and found all the hospitals in the area. Worst case scenario I can go to the nearest one there." Taylor patted Joe on the arm. "I'm fine. Don't worry so much."

"But--"

"He'll be okay," Lauryn said, leaning over the aisle.

"His health, though..."

"He just said he'll be fine. I'm sure he will be. And worst-case scenario, Taylor will sit out for a while and go to the hospital. Who cares, she's done a ton of performances."

"I'm right here, you know," Taylor grumbled. "Also, sorry for waking you, Lauryn."

"It's fine," she said with a yawn. "We're almost there anyway. I think."

That they were. Within two hours they'd arrived safe and sound in Saitama. They were greeted by a host. Excitement was in the air.

She was backstage just having finished the first half of her shake it off performance.

Taylor stood aside from the group of dancers a bit. She was already sweating, and the humidity wasn't helping in the slightest. Even the tagewas unbearable. The whole team changed quickly. Taylor tried to ignore the way her ribs were beginning to stick out, or how her hair kept getting caught on her shirt.

"Taylor!" Selena called. "your wig's slipping."

"Ah! Thanks."

She quickly adjusted it before joining the rest of the dancer on stage side. Selena was looking through her notes as the team gathered.

"Taylor."

"Yes?"

"You're not to stay out for more than fifteen minutes at a time. Go straight to the changing room. I'll try to meet you there when I finish."

The team gave questioning glances that Taylor tried her best to deflect.

Taylor bowed slightly. "I understand."

"Just take it easy, alright?"

Taylor ended up on the bench for most of the performance, until a small lift that fell out of sync. She was in for a long as she could be. Making sure to keep a beaming smile on her face.