Summer will now be known as something I'm so familiar with and yet so unfamiliar with.
Summer to me, means grieving, means that another trip around the sun without my bestfriends, just a reminder that they're not here, the anniversary of their passing, the Reminder that I was so lucky to have known them, but also the reminder that God takes who he wants when he is ready even if you're not ready to say goodbye.
How crazy is it that we fall in love with humans, that we want them to be there during all of our big moments, that we think about them when we're grocery shopping or even passing a store, thinking "oh if she/he were here they would love that" to think that we get the chance to love someone so deeply for them to be taken away, why do we have that type of connection if we're going to be heartbroken in the end? Everyone dies it's inevitable, we all live and work so hard to achieve the goals we have set for ourselves when we were young, we're all just surviving, for the end to come and for everything you have worked so hard for to not be with you when you take your last breath.
The question I would like to ask my loved ones is "when you took your last breath, did you feel the angels surrounding you, did you think about how you might've forgotten to do the dishes, or mowed the grass?" Because we fret so much about that being alive. How we forget to do even the smallest things but yet they take a toll on us during the day while we're busy, so I guess what I'm really asking is "when you took your last breath, did you think about your last words to your loved ones, are you happy with the way you lived your life."
I think that is such a big question in my life "are you happy with the way you are living your life?" Because I fret so much about things, about this small town, how I like to be alone, but really I don't, I just like that I'm not giving myself a chance to be heartbroken, to lose somebody else that I have come to love.
Summer will now be known as something I'm so familiar with and yet so unfamiliar with. Summer to me is 3 months of grieving, to let myself think of my loved ones who are finally getting a break, to remember the times I'm thankful for, the times where I thought the world was ending because it felt like it to me, losing someone will always feel like the world is ending, because it is for you, that person you have come to love and care for being taken away in a blink of an eye, is earth shattering.
But as my favorite bear said "how lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard"
I guess summer is something that I have felt before, but it's still earth shattering to witness.
