Lover - on hold

Chapter 1

Grace's pov

"Grace! I have a new tour you're going to work on." My manager said.

"So, what is it, and who is it?" I asked.

"You're not gonna believe this. It's Taylor Swift's 1989 World tour, and you're basically gonna be with her the whole time she's preparing for tour and during tour." She said.

"Oh my god, are you kidding?" I asked not believing what just came out of her mouth.

"No, I'm not kidding Grace. And you you're having lunch with her tomorrow to go over everything." She said knowing how I'm going to react.

"Oh my god I can't believe this! Thank you so much Kenzie!" I exclaimed while running over to her to hug her.

After Kenzie left I went up to my room and screamed. I cannot believe I get to meet Taylor Swift tomorrow. What am I gonna wear? Is she gonna think I'm weird? What's she going to think about me?

After I finally stopped over thinking, I went back downstairs to make dinner. I realized I didn't get any details about tomorrow except for that I was having lunch with Taylor tomorrow. I was about to text Kenzie when I got a text from an unknown number.

Hey! It's Taylor!! Your manager gave me your number and I figured I'd text you. So you're up for lunch at my house tomorrow around noon right?

Oh my god Taylor Swift just texted me. I opened the text and found out when and where lunch was tomorrow so that's good. I started to respond and realize I'm responding to the one and only Taylor Swift, I still cannot believe this.

Hey Taylor! I still can't believe this is happening, and yes I'm open for having lunch tomorrow!

Okay! I'm so excited to meet you!!

Still can't believe it.

Taylor's pov

I'm so excited to have Grace working with me on tour. I was reading the reviews people have said about her and she seems like such a nice and fun person to be around. After talking with her manager I decided she was the one I wanted to be there with me all the time preparing and while on tour.

After hiring her, her manager and I decided on a place and time for me to have lunch tomorrow so we could get to know each other. We finally decided on my house at noon. Her manager gave me her number so I could text her privately to make sure she's up for lunch at my house tomorrow.

I texted her and got a response almost immediately after. We talked for a while and I eventually gave her my address so she knew where to go tomorrow. After saying bye to her I realized I had a huge smile on my face. She's so nice and I really wasn't expecting her to be this nice, I knew from reviews she was nice but I was not expecting this.

I went to the kitchen to get some water and looked at the clock and it was already 9:30. I got ready for bed and went on Instagram. I decided I was gonna find Grace's account. I remember from reading reviews, her full name is Grace Marley. I looked it up and found an account that the profile picture looked like her. I pressed on the account and looked at her posts and decided it really was her. The follow button said follow back so that's exactly what I did.

Am I weird for stalking her? I really hope not. I mean to her it's probably just me following her since we're working together and I guess friends now? Maybe? I don't know, but I really need to stop overthinking it.

I got off Instagram and went to Twitter. That was a horrible mistake.

Trigger Warning!!!!!!!!

"Taylor Swift's so fat", "Taylor Swift is such a snake", "Taylor Swift go ahead and kill herself already, no one likes her", "Fuck Taylor Swift", "Taylor Swift is so annoying, how do people even like her? She's so ugly and fat and should've never been born. Taylor if you're seeing this, fuck you go kill yourself"

I was sobbing, it was worse today. I am fat, I am ugly, I should kill myself. I threw my phone across the room and got up and went to my bathroom and just stared at myself. I tried so hard not to do it, but I couldn't, I had to do it. I grabbed the razor and cut my wrists, I cut them until my wrists were covered in blood. I tried so hard no to do it, I swear I tried.

I threw the razor across the room and slammed the door shut and slid down the door and sobbed. I sat there and thought about everything, and everything I could possibly think of.

I probably should have someone to call when it gets bad like this shouldn't I? But I don't, I have my mom but I know I'll just end up hurting her. I wish I had a friend I could talk to about this, but I don't. All my fans probably think I'm having the time of my life with my friends, but I'm not. I'm stuck in a really bad headspace with no one to go to.

I could go to tree but she wouldn't help, she'd just be busy trying to make sure the public doesn't find this out. I could maybe go to Grace, but we just started talking today and I'm not even sure if we're friends or not, and I haven't even met her in person yet. Plus I don't want to scare her off the job by being some broken human no one wants around.

Shit. What am I supposed to do tomorrow? She's going to notice my cuts, she's going to notice me not eating, she's going to notice everything. What do I do? I'll wear a long sleeve shirt to hide the cuts, but what if she still see them. I mean I could say Meredith scratched me, but there's so many she wouldn't buy it. I guess I just have to hope for the best.

But what am I gonna do about the fact that I have an eating disorder? She can't know, what if she tells someone? Then what if it gets out to the public? Then everyone knows I have an eating disorder and then everyone starts to hate on me even more and then everything gets worse and I kill myself. What if that happens? What do I do?

All of the sudden I do an ear piercing scream. I can't do this, I need someone. I don't care if everyone finds out anymore. I'll kill myself I don't care, whatever people want. If they're happier without me then I'll make it happen. If she finds out all this stuff she'll probably quit and leave me and then I'll cancel tour. It's okay though because no one likes me anyway.

I finally got up and started the shower. I got it and it burned, it burned my shoulders, my legs, and especially my wrists, and somehow it felt good. Once again I cried, I cried about everything. I feel like I'm at the bottom of a well and I just can't get out and no one's coming to save me.

After crying for a while I finally got out of the shower and got ready for bed again, I walked out of the bathroom to go find my phone. I picked it up to see if it was cracked and thank god it wasn't. I looked at the time and it said it was 11:13. I spent about an hour and a half in the bathroom just crying.

I got in bed and got off Twitter and went back to Instagram. I decided I was going to try to get my mind off of all of this and look at edits fans made for me. I searched up #taylorswiftedit" and pressed on it. Oh my god my fans are so nice, I don't deserve this, I really don't. I kept scrolling until about 11:30 when I finally got off.

I decided I should probably go to bed now since I have to actually look presentable tomorrow. I turned off my lamp and went to bed thinking about every single thing possible.

Hi!! So funny story about this story, this is actually going to be based off of the dream I had last night lol. My name's Grace and I didn't feel like changing it and I want it to be as similar to my dream as possible. Grace's pronouns in this book are she/her so that's the one of the only differences in this book, because my pronouns are they/them. I'll also try to update this as much as I can, but I start school in five days so I don't know how often I'll be able to update starting then.