His Psyched Heart

CHAPTER III: THE CONFLICT

"So bro. tell me what happened to you and Betty? Because as I saw it then, it seemed that there was really nothing special between you and Betty.”
 
“Really? I wish it was. But the good thing there was, no one knew. I actually intended to keep that way.
 

“What do you mean by saying ‘I wish it was’? Did you become her boyfriend but eventually broke up?”
 
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“We became close friends after that day.
 
“I don’t get it Troy.”
 
“When all of you vacated the room and went to our next class into the next building that was the time I followed. I just felt I had to be alone that moment, so I did.
 
While I was walking and crossing through the corridor, she called out my name. Her voice was coming at a not so distant location; it seemed to me the calling was came from where I exited – at the room.
 
I turned around and saw Betty standing at the back of the door smiling with her hands holding at each other in front of her. Her long hair hung beautifully; perfectly combed touches her pretty face; unto her shoulder. She was simple yet very attractive; I wasn’t aware she was there.
 
“Hey..” I responded.
 
Standing still where I stopped while waiting her to get closer at me.
 
“Can I walk with you?” She said.
 
“Yeah sure, not a problem.” I replied.
 
I was a little bit hesitant – I felt timid. I didn’t know how to crack a word to jump on the matter about that night until she started to talk about it.
 
“Troy, I am very sorry for what happened last night…”
 
I was just listening and letting her do the talk.
 
“… If you might be thinking that I am a slut, I won’t blame you. I’ll accept that because I know I did something terrible…
 
…That wasn’t supposed to happen.
 
You know me, a lot of guys are flirting and courting at me but I never entertained them because… (paused for a moment), I… I want to focus on my studies and I want to preserve my dignity to the one I will marry. You maybe thinking now if I do this frequently or many times to anyone. But no, it isn’t and will not be. Sigh… I am not asking you to believe me but I…
 
I just couldn’t resist you Troy. I don’t know either what was happened to me that night. Your masculinity – big arms, nice muscled chest; and your strong presence really took my mind blown. I felt like I want you to touch me and imagining you doing it really turns me on. I know I should have not telling you of these things that are running on my mind. But don’t worry there’ll be no next time. I am really sorry. I swear I meant it. I just hope you do not change the way you treat me. But if you tell me to stay away with you, I will gladly do it.” She sincerely explained.
 
“Troy and Betty hurry up our teacher is already here and his looking for the two of you.” You shouted at the door.
 
“Oh no, I interrupted your chitchats.” I mentioned.
 
“Yeah and because of that I wasn’t able to respond to her, but of course I had a way to share what’s on my mind about her.” Troy stated.
 
We became busy at the class the whole day and my mind was preoccupied of the projects we have to comply in our subjects, so when the class was over I hurriedly went home to rest my mind and discharge stress. I actually forgot to approach Betty and respond to what she said. But when my senses have brought back I immediately picked my phone and sent her a message.
 
“Hi!” I started.
 
“Where are you at this time Troy?” She asked.
 
“I am at my apartment resting. I am sorry I forgot to approach you before I leave the school.” I explained.
 
“I thought you were mad at me. It’s good to hear you are not upset with me.” Betty replied.
 
“I am totally fine and it is nice that you could still speak to me this way. Actually earlier I really thought you might not going to talk to me anymore and I was really looking for an opportunity to talk to you fortunately you’ve made the first word.
 
About what you’ve said earlier, you were so strong to tell me your thoughts. I was actually admiring your braveness.” I mentioned.
 
“Really? You’re making me blushed in here (thrilled). I was just being true with my feelings. And I believe that was the best thing to do.” She told.
 
“That’s quite straightforward of you. I think your future boyfriend will be lucky to have you.” I submitted.
 
“Smiley emoticon.” She sent.
 
“Anyway, about my thoughts regarding that night. At first I was really shocked but don’t worry everything will be kept in secret. I just want to tell you that I completely understand everything you’ve said. It’s fine with me.” I responded.
 
“I am glad hearing your side. So can we close this issue at this very moment and start anew being friends. Shall we?” She asked.
 
“Friends? Happy to be your friend here.” I immediately replied.
 
Knock, Knock. Someone knocked at my door and to my surprise it was Betty.
 
“Betty? We were just texting. Why didn’t you tell?”
 
“Surprise? Can I come in?”
 
“off course, welcome to my humble apartment.”
 
 
“So you’re also alone here?”
 
“Unfortunately.”
 
“But I am sure your girlfriend always visits you here.”
 
“I don’t have a girlfriend yet.”
 
“Really? But you’ve mentioned yet so that means you will have sooner, right.”
 
 
“Hmm yeah… but only if she likes me too.”
 
“Oh come on Troy don’t be so humble, a man like you will always be a girl’s dream to be with.”
 
“Are you sure about that?”
 
“Hell yeah!”
 
“Even you? I am just kidding (laughing).”
 
“Ow… I.. I think Troy that’s not going to happen. You really attract me I won’t lie about that but I think we’re better being friends, right?”
 
“Oh come on, I am already busted?”
 
“Seriously, Troy?”
 
“Of course not, I was just kidding aside. So, what brings you here Betty?”
 
“Oh yeah, hmm actually I went here for two reasons. One is to actually see and talk to you personally if you are really fine and secondly to seek your expertise in Math again. You know we have so much calculations again for our homework, But…only if you have in the mood right now.”
 
“I see. Yeah you’re right we have so much to accomplish for tomorrow. If you like let’s have this together.”
 
“Yeah, that’s totally fine Troy. In fact I brought some clothes to wear in case we’ll not finish early before midnight, I can sleep over right?”
 
“Ahh… yeah of course Betty.”
 
“And don’t ever think that, I can read your mind Troy. I swear.”
 
“I didn’t tell anything (smiling). Alright it’s already 7:00 in the evening. I think before we start doing these homeworks, let’s have our dinner first. What do you think?”
 
“Don’t worry about the dinner Troy, I already ordered food at Grab my treat okay?
 
“What? I am speechless now. But you don’t have to do that. You are in my apartment and you are my visitor so I should be the one to treat you.” I surprisingly asked.
 
“Nonsense Troy just leave it to me, since we’re friends right? That’s what friends are for helping each other. You are helping me out so I should do something in return.” Betty insisted.
 
“But am not asking for payment or anything.” I smiley replied.
 
“Shut the fuck up Troy next time your turn okay?” She joked.
 
“Okay, you win Betty.” I  responded.
 
As we started doing our homework, we had so much fun, chitchats and stories we shared. Unconsciously unaware of the time; time passes really fast. We had finished our assignments at around 12:30 AM.
 
“That’s it Troy? Nothing happened that second night?” I interrupted.
 
“Actually, there was.” Troy replied.
 
“Just what I am expecting. So how was it?”
 
When we both resting on the sofa she brought her head on my lap – used it as her pillow.
 
“Oh, let me get a pillow Betty.” I awkwardly offered.
 
“No it’s fine. I think it’s better here on your lap.” Looking seriously at me.
 
“I insist. Just give me a moment.” I told her.
 
When I was about to stand, she grabbed my head with her two arms closer at her face and immediately kissed my lips. I didn’t move for a moment but she was good doing it so I fought back. It took us 2 minutes doing it. My adrenalin got fueled so I rushed to take off her clothes pulling her bra away and played her boobs with my tongue. She got wild and made a lot of moaning. My hand didn’t stop to undress her until I pulled off her undies under her skirt. I took off my shorts and briefs then I pulled her up, grabbed her waist and lift her up over me. She understood my movements, so she positioned herself nicely facing me with her legs wide opened while she kneeled down and gently sitting my beloved steel. It was a bull’s eye on her first attempt. It entered so smooth and covered all over mine. She twerked on it enjoying every moment like she was having a back horse riding. The feeling was so great and intense.
 
“That was really amazing Troy. I love the way she roar. She makes me pre cum just by imagining it based on your story.” I interrupted.
 
“Better unload that Kevin.” He jokingly replied.
 
Actually we didn’t stop there. We did that over and over again.
 
One morning I woke up thinking about her, wanting to see her everyday. I thought I have feelings for her already.
 
“She is single, why not?” My mind told.
 
Since from what I know she had no boyfriend, so I decided to tell her that I liked her to be my girlfriend, so I set up a date one Saturday to formally reveal my hard feelings for her.
 
“Hi Betty, how are you today?”
 
“I am good. Thanks for asking Troy.”
 
“That’s good to hear. I am wondering if you are free this coming Saturday afternoon.”
 
“Hmm oh yeah, I have nothing to do then. Why did you ask? What’s your plan?”
 
“That’s good. Can you accompany me somewhere here in the City? I might be needing your opinion at something. Will you?
 
“Oh sure Troy, not a problem. So see you on Saturday afternoon.”
 
“Alright! See you.”
 
So my plan turned out well. She was surprised when I took her at a nice and romantic restaurant.
 
“Oh wow, what are we going here Troy? Is there a celebration or something?”
 
“Well, I just thought of bringing you here.”
 
“Oh come on Troy, why would you bring me here? Tell me were you selected with the scholarship you applied for?”
 
“Hmm… yeah you’re right Betty. I am lucky to be one of the school’s scholar.”
 
“Well, I supposed this is a celebration.”
 
“Yeah, that is right. Okay, let’s get an order.”
 
We had fun chitchatting but at the back of my mind I was looking for an opportunity to segue to what really my intention was but I decided to get straight to it after she finished her meal.
 
“So, how’s the food? Do you find it good?”
 
“I think, I will be back here. There food is absolutely delicious. And this place is really romantic. You also have a good smell at nice restaurants.”
 
“I am very pleased you loved it. You know Betty there is something I want to tell you. I’ve been thinking this for quiet sometime and I feel like I must already tell about my feelings towards you. Betty I… I think I already love you.”
 
“Seriously? Troy?”
 
“Yeah, I am very sure of it. Since both of us are single and after what happened to us for many times now. I think it’s time to level this up into a relationship to prevent the naysayers creating some nasty judgments when they find this out. And I am also after with our reputation especially you that you are a woman. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
 
“So you are saying you want me to be your girlfriend?”
 
“That’s right Betty.”
 
“Do you really like me?”
 
“No, Betty. I don’t like you I love you.”
 
“It seems that you are really so serious now Troy. I guess I should have to tell you this at once. Honestly, I started to liking you already Troy; with you it makes me feel comforted and safe. I love the way you treat me and all and I always think of you everyday but I feel so sorry about this.”
 
“So it means that you laso have feelings towards me but why are you feeling sorry for it?”
 
“Troy, I have a boyfriend.”
 
“Wait, what?”
 
“He’s in Manila working. I didn’t tell anyone because I just want to be me as I am.”
 
“So, you mean that all along you are just playing with me?”
 
“No, no Troy I like you and everything that happened to us have impacted my life so much. That’s why I am telling  you this already because I already want you but I just don’t know what to do.”
 
“I felt so hurt Betty but my feelings for you is overflowing so it’s fine with me if you have boyfriend. I will accept it just be mine Betty.”
 
“Are you serious Troy? It’s fine with you even I meet and date my boyfriend whenever he around?”
 
“Even if it’s really hard, I will.”
 
I grabbed her hand, she gripped on it. I looked at her eyes, she had tearfully eyes. I told her everything is going to be alright. She stood up hugged me and kissed me.
 
I swallowed my ego. I humbled myself. I was blinded by my hard feelings for her.
 
The set up was on. We made love almost everyday and every night. We were so hooked up. We shared our fire within us until her boyfriend came to visit her. She gladly introduced me as her gay best friend and a Math wizard. I was surprised what she did because she never mentioned she would introduce me like that but on the other hand, her plan may be a good one. I can still be around without her boyfriend knowing our relationship, so what I did is just to go with the flow and acted like one but in a discreet manner.
 
“What? Really Troy? A lot of girls wanted you and you just ignored them for her? And for that kind of set up? Come on! You really pushed yourself on the ground. I think that was too much bro.” I interrupted.
 
 
“At some point in our lives, we choose to accept the things that might bring happiness even if its only in a short period of time. No whys. No ifs. Just happiness” Troy responded.
 
 
“Damn! You’re right. So how it was going with the three of you?”
 
 
The set up was really exciting, I could say. Because whenever they traveled I was present.
 
 
I actually managed to ignore what was happening with a hope that everything will be all right. My mind accepted it for long period of time until one day I woke up having an enlightenment.
 
 
“Troy, I and Ryan will be out of town for two days: Saturday-Sunday; celebrating our 6th year anniversary. I actually feel sad about this.”
 
 
“I see. Why feeling sad? You must be happy right? You have him and you have me.”
 
 
“But Troy.
 
“Do you need help for bone fire set up?”
 
“You could do that?
 
“Well as what we normally do right when we are touring together?”
 
“Alright I’ll going to tell Ryan that you’ll also come for a help.”
 
I smiled.
 
We went to Fortune Island at Batangas. We climbed the mountain and built our tent. It was so beautiful and romantic. Perfect for a couple gate away.

 
They were sitting near at the edge of the mountain overlooking the valley and the farthest towns in the place, waiting for the sunset. He was sitting still. Her head lied down on his bf’s shoulder and chitchats their best memories together in the past years. Meanwhile, I was getting myself busy making bone fire to divert bugs inside my mind.
 
 
Looking up the sky and seeing the stars and the moon above was so calming along with the cold breeze coming from everywhere touching my skin. As the night turned to be so wonderful my eyes started to run tiny tears. Hearing crickets around but his and hers were amplifying into my ears. It was so heartbreaking to hear when you know what they were doing. Imagining their scene together and staying right close to them were the most hurtful moment of my life as if I was having a heart attack.

 
I cried so loud inside but I was silent in the outside. My heart was filled of sadness, jealousy and regrets. Asking myself why it did come to this.