sharp blades cut deep

3

! I do not own Kuroshitsuji or any of its characters !

Please read the note at the end. Enjoy!

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Ciel POV

I was bored. I tried to read a book but my mind drifted away every few lines. The words didn't want to make any sense in my head. After 20 minutes, I gave up. The small clock on the table ticked quietly. It was only half past eleven. 

I sighed. The ticking made me go insane. 

Tick, Tick, Tick...

Again and again.

Normally, I wouldn't even notice. The ticking would blend in with my toughts while I worked. But today, ervything was too much. The dream I had last night was the worst one I had in months. 

It wasn't just the lack of sleep and the resulting headaches that made my life even more unbearable than it already was, it was the emotional exhaustion that had the greatest effect on me and my state of mind.  

The pain was pulsating behind my eyes and I felt a little nauseous. I massaged my temples and closed my eyes for a second. Bright spots of different colours danced behind my closed eyelids. I squeezed my eyes tighter to get rid of them, the only thing I achieved was that they became stronger.

I glanced at the clock again. Only two minutes had passed. Lord Harrington would arrive at 7 o'clock in the evening. I already told him he would not need a carriage back to his manor. 

I chuckled. He thought that I would have a room prepared for him so he had a place to sleep. 

Well, technically, he wasn't wrong. 

Only that his sleeping place was going to be a little more...

permanent. 

I didn't feel anything about the fact that I would murder someone tonight. If I had any moralic guidelines left, they were buried too deep in my dark mind as if I could rely on them. Not that I wanted. 

Harrington abused the trust I had given him as managing director and had trampled it underfoot. Now he would have to pay, like it or not. Even though the money he stole had no worth for me, I appreciated the wealth I lived with. But most importantly, nobody would harm the Phantomhive name as long as I don't act as fertilizer for the graveyard flowers. 

The ticking of the clock pulled me out of my thoughts. Exasperated, I stood up and stepped out of the room. A walk in the garden would do me good.

The sky was dull,  resembling my mood. The air was fresh and cool, already hinting the upcoming autumn. Some leaves have already gone brown, it wouldn't take longer than a week for them to completely change colours. 

I walked slowly  between the well-tended flowerbeds as I was actually enjoying the cold wind biting the exposed skin on my neck and hands. It distracted me from my headache and relieved the pain at least a little. 

I expected to see Finny or Pluto, but surprisingly, neither the dog nor the boy were to be found anywhere in the gardens. I had no problem with it though, my mind was finally finding peace in the silence. 

I sat down on a bench but soon decided to do otherwise and layed down. The white marble was pulling the warmth out of my body like a magnet and I already felt myself starting to shiver but I didn't care about it much and stayed still. Maybe a fever would roll me up like an old rug and finally put me underground. That would be very tragic, of course.