in a matter of seconds [h.s]

affection.

affection
/əˈfɛkʃ(ə)n/
learn to pronounce
noun
1.a gentle feeling of fondness or liking.
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WARNING : sleep disturbance issues are
mentioned throughout this story.

suddenly my eyes open, body finally being in control again, sun glaring through my curtains with the silence of only my heavy breathing, struggling to keep ahold of myself from the night of terror i had just encountered.
weeks on end, the pain becoming customary, some nights better than others, yet, this was most definitely not one of those nights.

i encourage myself to get out of bed, arms jittering, fingers shaking, legs almost bucking out on me.

ignoring the sense of alarm rising, i make my way into the bathroom, splashing ice cold water on to my face to calm myself down and to wake myself up fully.
and to remind myself.
to remind myself i'm not there anymore.

my morning filled with my perpetual routine.
awaking from the horrors i endure, dragging myself out of bed to join the day that awaits that i already know will be miserable, refreshing myself to feel an insignificant amount of tranquility, ending in me coming down from my high of fear, forming into an emotionless mess.

leaving my bathroom showered yet still feeling dirty, getting dressed and adding a considerable amount of makeup on,to make myself feel pretty?
to make myself feel better?
to make myself feel something?
to make myself feel anything other than the trepidation i feel every morning.

i make my way towards the dainty coffee shop at the corner of my street, walking in hearing that same ding of the bell above my head, walking in noticing the queue being non-existent.

as i walk in i see the old woman i've grown fond of behind the counter, stubby, plump and grey haired,
she looks up from her diary to see who has entered, realising it's me and brightly smiling and speaking out abnormally loud.

"morning iris! how are you today! you having your regular coffee? or are you switching it up this morning " she chuckled to herself, knowing the answer already and walking away to make it.

"good morning peggy, i'm okay, has the shop been busy today?" i reply back to lift the conversation off of myself.

peggy went off in a ramble while i drift off and look around the cafe, placing my eyes upon a guy sitting at a table alone, his eyes hooking on to mine just like how mine did to his. my heart quickening in pace and my stomach turning in knots as we keep ahold of each other's eyes, not one of us looking away other than to blink.

"anyways, there's your coffee love" peggy grinned. i pulled my eyes away from the curious eyes and grabbed my coffee glancing up at her, "thank you" handing over the money as i do so. "no bother love, see you same time tomorrow?" she hopefully asked, i smiled lightly and mumbled back a rushed "of course". i turn around bouncing on my heels leaving the shop not giving into my hearts daunting want to look into those piercing green eyes again, the glass in the window tempting me to just have a quick glance one more time to the man i just might never see again, but i force myself not to and walk the opposite way, letting out a breath i didn't know i was holding.

who was that peculiar man my mind pondered while i strolled towards my work, i've never seen him around here, he must be from out of town i settled on.
but why here out of all places?, why this town?, why here? these questions filled my brain the entire way to work, as well as during, after and along with later on when i got home.

i lay there in bed the exhaustion just about to take over, my eyes beginning to shut and my brain wiring down

silence.

then came the humming, it's funny because you'd think that humming would be soothing, but it's difficult to feel peaceful with it when you live alone and it's coming from the opposite side of the room.

******