in a matter of seconds [h.s]

adoration

adoration
/adəˈreɪʃ(ə)n/
Learn to pronounce
noun
1.deep love and respect.
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my eyes suddenly open, the breath caught in my throat becoming too much for me to handle, i rush up off my bed stumbling my way into the bathroom, grabbing on to the counter where the sink is to hold my balance, looking up at myself in the mirror.
who even am i? 
i perceived the heavy bags under my eyes, and the mess that lay on the top of my head.
what have i turned into?

i relieve myself from looking any longer and throw the cold water over my face again, the water splashing my face cools me down but doesn't slow the racing speed of my heart, i grab back onto the counter holding my head low, repeating over and over "you're okay, he's not here anymore"

leaving my bathroom, getting dressed and heading to peggy's, on my walk there i decided to admire my surroundings, the sound of the leaf blowers, the sight of children chasing each other on the opposite side of the street and the smell of the fresh coffee coming from peggy's just a few steps away, i look through the window while walking past and notice that the guy is in there.

i stood outside the door for a second working up the courage to go in and see those intimidating eyes of the man i have yet put a name to.
finally feeling ready enough i grab the handle to the door hearing that same ding of the bell above my head, walking in to see that peggy isn't out front yet.

"peggy?!" i whisper shouted out to the back of the shop, with a loud " just one second!" being shouted back out, i chuckled and looked down at my fingers playing with them.

feeling a pair of eyes on me, i turn my head slightly to the right to see the man i've been non-stop thinking about gazing up at me, i blush profusely and look back with a bite of my lip keeping my smile in, and just as i did so i hear peggy coming to the counter to say hi, "aw iris good morning love i'll get working on ur coffee right away" she said sweetly.

peggy was one of a kind, i've never met someone like her, no-one as well balanced, warming and welcoming than her.

i thank her and look back at him, he's looking down at his book, i try to read the title of it but he's too far away from me to read it, i slightly moved myself over more towards him to get a closer look and turning my eyes into slits to make it out while nearly falling over, i'm interrupted in my failed attempt of trying to read it with the noise of a deep chuckle, i realise it's coming from the man himself and my face flamed red, i stopped in my tracks and turn back to the counter fidgeting on the spot trying to get over the embarrassment of getting caught out.

"here you go love, hope you have a lovely day see you tomorrow" she sweetly spoke to me, a quick thank you i rushed out of my mouth, and sped out of the shop not even thinking about looking back through the window this time.

all i could think about is that i went through all that trouble of finding out the books name and i didn't even find it out.

i mentally facepalmed myself and sulked my way to work.

arriving early i put my bag down and sat at my table, working as a receptionist at a dentist doesn't seem like the best most exciting job, and you're right it isn't, it's not high paying, and also quite stressful, but it's temporary and it does the job.

today i've to go through names and email them giving their times slots to come in, i'm writing them down knowing most of the names on the list when one comes up that i've never heard been mentioned before.

harry styles.

i thought i knew everyone in this town, must be someone's kid who i've never met, i go through the rest of them and let in those who've come in for their check ups and surgeries, by the time it's 6pm i'm worn out anyways, finally home time, i call out to ryan, the dentist, in the back to let him know i'm leaving and off i went home.

not wanting to go home yet i made my way into the coffee shop again, glad to see the man who's been running around in my head not here,after still not being over my embarrassment of earlier, but peggy isn't here either, some young boy around 17 is, i ordered my coffee and it was ready in just a few minutes. i said my thank you and left, walking down the street slowly, admiring the leaves falling from the trees painting the floor with their colours.

autumn has always been my favourite, every year this seems to be around the time i'm most happy? or at least somewhat better than how i normally feel.

i lingered on the stair outside my door tonight just a little bit longer than usual, with the exhaustion catching up on my body i force myself to open the door and let myself in, feeling abnormally tired i head straight to bed dreading with what'll be before me tonight.

i got in to bed

silence, no humming, no noises, silence

tonight's fright being different, with only the heavy breaths of something crawling closer to me pushing down on my chest, and knowing it isn't my cat as my eyes look to the right of me seeing her lying there peacefully oblivious to the ongoing right beside her.

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