XVII - Enough

A Break

Write : 09/08/2021 [06:15 PM]
Publish : 14/08/2021 [03:01 PM]

Forth's POV

I just wake up from my sleep and touch besides me but no one was there and I realized...

"Arh, Beam just break up with me last night." Tears start rolling down from my eyes again.

"I miss you Baby. I miss you so much." I take his pillow and smell his scent. It still there; strawberry vanilla like his shower gel. Beam love strawberry so much.

Can I just die ? Should I die if Beam not with me ? How can I survive to live like this ? I lost my backbone, I lost my other half. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to sleep. Let me sleep forever. I hug my knee and turn into fetus position; cover my body with blanket, stay in the dark. Please just let me die. I close my eyes tightly with tears all over my face. I fall asleep again.

Beam's POV

I sleep at Phana place after I break up with Forth. Maybe it's the best decision for me for now. I cannot see Forth; my heart was break when I see his tears but what can I do. Forth was too much. I want continue my sleep; I don't want to feel sad. It's enough for me to take Forth possessiveness for almost 5 years we are in relationship. I already him to tone it down but it become worst lately. I walk to the living room and see Phana and Kit was there. They're talking with each other and stop talking when they see me.

"Beam, come. Sit here." Kit calls me.

"Hmm, why ?" I sit between them.

"Beam, I know I'm not in the position to say this but don't you think that you're too harsh on Forth. He did the entire thing because he love you and want to protect you. He always takes a good care of you. " Phana look me straight into my eyes.

"Love ? You said all the possessive thing; being watch 24/7 is love ? Seriously ? It's too much ! What if your lover do that to you too ? You will feel trap !" I retort it back. He never knows how feels when you like in the cage although you're free. It's feel suffering.

Phana and Kit just sigh when they heard what I say. I drink water in front of me to keep myself calm and I just hold my tears. Of course I miss him too but my heart hurt; that more important than the missing part. I just sigh and decided to sleep again.

3rd POV

Forth went to Phana's house to meet Beam. He knows that Beam was there for these entire times because Phana and Kit told him. They even take a picture and send to Forth so he knows about Beam conditions.

Knock knock

"Beam, Baby. Can I see you ? Please, just see you without do anything else." Forth knock Phana's room door.

"Shut up. Just go. I don't want to see you." Beam scream from inside.

"Please, Baby. I'm sorry. I swear with my soul that I never do that to you again. If I do it again, you can kick me out of your life forever. I swear !" Forth almost cry when he said that.

"You always said that things and you do it again, did you ever thinks about me ?" Beam voice start to crack.

"I always think about you. You always in my heart and my life, I never think that I harm you in that way. I want you to be safe." Forth touch the door.

"I know but I'm strong too. I'm not weak man; Dada already teaches me how to protect myself, he always asks me to take care of myself. I know how to take a good care of myself. Why you never believe me in that ? I'm strong too. Why Forth ?" Beam sit on the floor while touch the door.

"I know that Baby but I want to protect you too. I'm yours; of course I want you to be safe. Can you please come out and see me. I just see you from far away is enough. Please Baby." Forth begging at Beam.

"No, I don't want to see you for now. I'm tired of this sad feeling. I want take a rest. Just go home." Beam lying on the bed and close his eyes; tears come out without control.

"I'm sorry. I never let you go. I'm so sorry about everything I done. If you hate me that much, I cannot do anything more. I will walk out from your life by myself. Thank you for all the times that we are together. I always love you. Remember that." Forth cannot hold his tears anymore. He cried after he said that and walk to the front door.

After Beam heard that, he run out from the room but Forth already left. Beam sit in front of the door with his face full of tears. Phana and Kit hug him because he looks so lost. They never know that these situations become this worst in weeks. Start from Forth and Beam argue about Beam safety and his 'shadow' ; suddenly it become more big when the 'shadow' report to Forth about Beam going out with his classmate without telling Forth. Forth drag Beam from the café and they start argue in their home. After that, they keep fighting about something small until the last one at the bar.